


The Worth Of An Apple (Shizaya)

by GinHoshikuse



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Nightmares, Rough Sex, Self-Harm, Sex, Sex Toys, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-08-13 23:42:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 33,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16481996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinHoshikuse/pseuds/GinHoshikuse
Summary: It was hard for Izaya Orihara to picture Shizuo Heiwajima as a real human being, one with complex feelings like pain and fear, one that went grocery shopping on payday and had likes and dislikes like anyone else. In Izaya's mind, Shizuo was nothing more than a beast in human form, one that ran on instinct like a rabid dog.And if he was honest, Izaya hated dogs.However slowly but surely... Izaya's hatred for dogs is slowly fading away.





	1. Chapter 1: Compassion Costs Just 100 円

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to: Anyone going through a rough time that needs a healthy release.
> 
> Main characters: Izaya Orihara, Shizuo Heiwajima
> 
> Characters mentioned: Celty Sturluson, Shinra Kishitani, Varona Douglanov, Simon Breshnev, Tom Tanaka, Namie Yagiri, Haruya Shiki, Shinichi Tsukumoya 
> 
> Rating: M
> 
> Trigger/content warnings: Self harm, alcohol abuse, eating disorders, nightmares, mental illness
> 
> Genre: Romance, Drama, Shounen Ai, Fiction
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters, all rights go to the Durarara creator, Ryohgo Narita.
> 
> Synopsis: It was hard for Izaya Orihara to picture Shizuo Heiwajima as a real human being, one with complex feelings like pain and fear, one that went grocery shopping on payday and had likes and dislikes like anyone else. In Izaya's mind, Shizuo was nothing more than a beast in human form, one that ran on instinct like a rabid dog.  
> And if he was honest, Izaya hated dogs.  
> But slowly but surely, his hatred for dogs is getting less and less...

Chapter 1: Compassion Costs Just 100 円

 

It was hard for Izaya Orihara to picture Shizuo Heiwajima as a real human being, one with complex feelings like pain and fear, one that went grocery shopping on payday and had likes and dislikes like anyone else. In Izaya's mind, Shizuo was nothing more than a beast in human form, one that ran on instinct like a rabid dog.   
And if he was honest, Izaya hated dogs.

  
The heavens had split apart, showering down on the bustling city of Shinjuku, dampening the concrete and rising the muggy smells of wet grass and mud.   
For the informant of Shinjuku, this wasn't a problem. Nestled safely inside of his condo high above the blinking lights of the city miles away from the monster of Ikebukuro, he sat at his desk, eyes the colour of aged red wine lowered behind thick lashes as he dragged a nail file across small, pointed nails. Business had been slow that day, prompting Izaya to sit in his condo almost all day waiting for his precious humans to attack each other.

  
"If you're really that bored, why don't you go out for a bit?" Izaya's eyes shot up when his secretary Namie Yagiri spoke, not moving her eyes away from her laptop screen, fingers moving quick on the keyboard. Izaya hummed and put his nail file down.  
"Are you that sick of having me here quietly doing nothing?" Izaya let amusement creep into his voice, Namie rolling her eyes.   
"Well your precious humans are outside aren't they? It makes no sense to be in here when you take such sick delight in tormenting them." She scoffed back.  
Izaya hummed. "Hey Namie-San, you're a scientist right? You know how a few drops of acidic liquid turns litmus paper red while alkaline turns it blue?"  
Namie narrowed her eyes, waiting for the raven to start making sense, Izaya swiveling his chair around and standing, staring out of the massive window down at Shinjuku.

  
"At first its fun, so you try all kinds of substances, but since there are only two outcomes, you eventually get bored." He mused, Namie sighing.   
"What are you getting at exactly? Is this another one of your weird analogies?"  
Izaya ignored her, his cocky smile falling as he pressed his hand to the cool glass window. "Compared to that, there's an infinite variety of human reactions. Therefore, one never gets bored." Izaya hummed, finger tracing a drop of water as it slid down the glass.   
"A single drop of liquid on the litmus paper known as human beings yeilds the most unpredictable results." He turned back to face a now uninterested Namie, sighing wistfully.

  
"And yet, the most unpredictable being in this whole world, isn't even a human, shame" he sighed, shaking his head and putting his hands on his hips.   
Izaya sighed and blinked when a ball of fluff and material smacked him in the face and flopped onto the ground. He looked over at a deadpanning Namie, who had just thrown Izaya's fur lined jacket at him. The raven rolled his eyes and pulled it on. "Yes yes, I was just leaving, I'm bored anyways" he mused, pulling his shoes on and skipping out of his apartment, hood up as he trotted through the rain towards Ikebukuro.

 

Thirty minutes away from Shinjuku, the Fortissimo of Ikebukuro was just heading down to the convenience store closest to his house, putting his umbrella down and shaking the remaining rivulets off the waterproof material, sticking it point first into the small umbrella rack outside the store, walking inside and sighing at the warm heater and the telltale ding the door made when he walked past the threshold. He let out a breath, beelining towards the display cabinet that housed what he wanted: Krispy Kreme donuts. He opened the cabinet and grabbed the tongs and a donut bag, piling a few sweet treats into the bag before moving along, going over to the slushie machine, looking over the flavours before just settling on plain old strawberry, holding the straw in his mouth as he filled the cup up, the ding of the door sounding as another person came in. Shizuo's mocha eyes were lowered, fastening the lid to the cup calmly, about to stick the straw through the hole when something jabbed him in both sides, a yell coming from behind him.

  
"SHIZU-CHAN~!"  
Shizuo's eyes widened and his heart lurched, whole body tensing and jumping in a flinch, his hand clamping too hard on the slushie cup, squeezing it into an hourglass shape and sending red icy slush everywhere. The blond felt a vein in his forehead pop into visibility, whirling around to face the one person he really didn't want to see.   
"Izay---"  
"PFFFHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Shizuo barely got out the raven's name before Izaya was keeling over laughing, thin arms wrapped around his waist. "Y-You should've seen your face!" He managed through faint wheezes. Shizuo felt his resolve snap, his free hand reaching up and gripping Izaya's collar, yanking the raven onto his tiptoes.   
"You damn flea!"  
"I'll pay for your stuff" Izaya mused, a twinkle in his eyes. The sudden gesture made Shizuo falter and caused a confused crease between the blond's eyebrows.   
"What?"  
"I said I'll pay for your stuff, protozoan, consider it as an apology for scaring you" he hummed again, Shizuo slowly letting go of Izaya's shirt, pursing his lips.   
"Alright" he murmured, filling up a new slushy cup and going over to the counter with his items.  
 _Oh well._ Shizuo thought. _If the flea pulls a fast one I have the cash to pay for it anyways._

  
He looked back while the cashier was punching in the amount, Izaya pulling the money from his wallet and handing it over like he'd promised, taking his change and humming. "Oh! And a packet of blue American Spirits please~" Izaya hummed, flashing his drivers license for identification, Shizuo frowning as the cashier got out the packet, handing it to Izaya, who exchanged it for money.   
"Okay now I'm sure that you're scheming something" Shizuo spoke when Izaya handed him to packet of cigarettes. Izaya snickered, skipping out of the convenience store, standing under the alcove, watching the rain.   
"What's your angle?" Shizuo piped up, following him out and grabbing his umbrella again, standing beside Izaya and looking at him quizzically, the raven watching the rain with bright eyes.   
"No angle, no scheme" he hummed, though Shizuo had every reason to not be convinced.   
"Then why the niceties all of a sudden?" Shizuo frowned, the line between his eyebrows only deepening.   
"Simple" Izaya shrugged and leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets, looking at Shizuo. "Your litmus paper is confusing."  
Shizuo blinked, utterly lost.   
"Litmus paper?"  
Izaya gave a faint laugh.   
"We've known each other for what? 10 years? A whole decade of hatred, that's pretty impressive actually, but you're still the most unpredictable person that I know and it frustrates me" he mused. "I've seen many of your hatred reactions, anger, spite, excetera, so I decided to mix it up a little" he gave a impish grin and shrugged away from the wall, leaning closer to Shizuo. "I wanted to see your protozoan face when I was actually nice to you, and just as always, Shizu-Chan, you didn't disappoint."

  
Izaya gave a wolfish grin and giggled childishly, skipping back a few steps, waving daintily and moving to walk away.   
"Oi flea" Shizuo called, stopping Izaya in his tracks, humming in curiosity as he turned to face the blond, rain water flowing down his face and clinging in drops to the fur of his jacket.   
"Yeees~?"  
Shizuo had a blank look on his face, holding out his umbrella after putting it up, Izaya blinking in confusion before reaching out and touching it, his cold fingers brushing Shizuo's warm ones. Shizuo then just yawned, turning and walking in the rain sipping his slushie, hiding his bag of donuts under his jacket to protect the paper bag. "Consider it an act of kindness" he called after himself, leaving Izaya standing with the umbrella over his head sheltering him from the bitter cold rain, blinking wine eyes as he watched Shizuo's tall figure turn the corner.

  
Izaya blinked and looked at the umbrella, fingers catching in the tag dangling from the handle.   
He blinked at the tag reading 'Mimiso Convenience Store umbrella 100 円.'  
The raven blinked and laughed faintly, yanking the tag off and stuffing it in his pocket, standing like that for a few minutes.  
"Huh..." He finally murmured, a smile on his lips, eyes lowered.   
"Who'd have thought that compassion only costed 100 円, Eh, Shizu-Chan?"

 


	2. Chapter 2: Karma Is A Cruel Mistress

  
Chapter 2: Karma Is A Cruel Mistress

 

When Izaya got home he was greeted to an empty condo, Namie probably having gone home for the night. His sigh echoed in the blank room, slipping off his shoes and leaving them to dry out by the door, doing the same with his jacket. His clothes smelt like rain, so he went to his bathroom, stripping his clothes and throwing them in the hamper, slipping his chilled body into an oversized grey hoodie straight from the dryer, letting an audible sigh leave his lips, pulling a pair of shorts up pale, scarred legs. He sighed, his body felt exhausted and heavy, dragging his small frame to his king sized bed, flopping onto the covers, dozing off almost straight away.

Izaya regretted this choice in the morning. He woke up with a stuffy nose and a lightheaded feeling as well a lump in the back of his throat. He groaned and sat up with a scowl, looking towards the window he'd left open that was blowing cold air into the room as well as the fact that he was lying on the bed in shorts above the covers.   
Izaya was sick.   
He groaned, slumping over as he walked out to the living room, looking around and scowling that Namie wasn't there. He sighed and rustled through the bathroom cupboard for flu medicine, sighing when he couldn't find it. Izaya frowned and got dressed, taking out his phone and texting Shinra that he'd be over soon and to prepare some medicine for him, looking over at the umbrella that Shizuo had given him resting by the door. He sighed and looked out the window at the pouring rain, grabbing the umbrella before leaving the house with a cough.

His way to Shinra's should have gone smoothly, though when Izaya got sick, he _really_ got sick. His reaction times were slowed drastically and he practically acted like a zombie. He dragged his heavy body through Ikebukuro, eyes lowered and sniffling every now and then, cold hands trembling slightly around the umbrella handle.   
Walking past Tokyo Hands, he had the opportunity to put down the umbrella when he began walking under a string of alcoves. He sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve, he could feel that his cheeks, forehead and nose were red with a fever, he could feel the stuffiness behind his eyes and nose too.   
"This is awful..." He mumbled to himself, his voice a little nasally.

  
"I agree" came a curt voice from behind him that made him jump and turn around with wide eyes, Shizuo leaning against the Tokyo Hands building glaring at Izaya with a cigarette in his mouth, the orange filter having a few teeth marks in it from Shizuo biting down when he saw the raven. Izaya blinked puffy eyes, watching the almost calm bartender lift his lighter to his cigarette, lighting the end and taking a deep draw in, shrugging away from the wall and facing Izaya. "Didn't I tell you to stay out of Ikebukuro, Izaya?" His voice didnt quite have the same edge that it normally had, shoving his free hand in his pocket, Izaya scowling.  
"Believe me, I would much rather be home but I have to see Shinra. I'll be out of your city soon enough once I've seen him so could you give me a break for today?"  
Shizuo blinked. That was the first time Izaya had asked him to just pass by him without having a cocky edge to his voice.   
"What do you need to see Shinra for?" Shizuo rose an eyebrow and Izaya resisted the urge to puff out his cheeks in a full-blown pout.

  
"Just for some medication" he waved a hand in dismissal.   
"I'll come with you."  
"Excuse me?"  
"I said I'll come with you flea."  
"Why?"  
"To make sure you dont start any shit today."

  
 _That's fair, he has a pretty good point._ Izaya thought to himself, sighing.   
"Whatever" he sighed, sneezing softly. It was quicker to just go along with the monster's ludicrous plan's rather then sit in the cold and get even worse.   
So, with that, the informant of Shinjuku and the fortissimo of Ikebukuro walked together through the city towards Shinra and Celty's apartment.   
"You kept it" the blond commented arbitrarily, pointing to the umbrella in Izaya's bone white grip.  
Izaya blinked, his sick brain processing things much slower before he clicked. "Oh, yeah I did" he shrugged "it was useful."  
Shizuo nodded faintly, reaching a hand out and ringing the doorbell, listening to the 'hihi~! coming~!' of Shinra from inside before the door opened, the doctor in a plain white t shirt and a pair of shorts, his feet bare. He blinked and pushed up his glasses. "Izaya? And Shizuo..? Am I having an annhyrism? Should I call my father to examine me?" He murmured to himself, stroking his chin in though, Shizuo scoffing and pushing past him inside.

  
"Shut up already shitty glasses, I'm just making sure the flea's not doing anything fucked up in my city." Izaya rolled his eyes and followed Shizuo inside, Celty sitting in the office, turning and waving at Shizuo when he came in, seeing Izaya come in after him however made her shoot to standing, her helmet shooting off her head with a puff of smoke that looked almost like steam from a kettle. She instantly took a defensive position, waiting for Shizuo to throw something at Izaya. Though when nothing happened she slowly relaxed, picking her helme back up slowly, putting it back on as Izaya turned to Shinra.   
"I need a script."  
"Is it for antidepressants?" Shinra asked instantly, not missing a beat, his face neutral, Shizuo's eyebrows shooting up in interest and confusion. Izaya shook his head.   
"Not this time."  
"Sleeping pills? I already told you Izaya, I cant give you anymore, the ones I gave you should've lasted until next week" once again, Shizuo's eyebrows shot up to meet his hairline, frowning faintly, Izaya once again shaking his head, a faint blush on his cheeks, irritated that Shinra was just blurting out certain weaknesses in front of his enemy.   
"No, just some cold and flu stuff."  
"And I already told you there's no medication to stop your self har--- Oh just cold and flu pills?" Shinra blinked and chuckled faintly. "Oh well than that's easy, you dont need a prescription for that, just give me a second" the doctor hummed, spinning around and skipping to his medicinal room. There was an awkward silence that followed that, Izaya standing with his arms crossed, Shizuo frowning at him from the couch and Celty trying and failing to hide behind the glass wall by the threshold to the office, watching them both warily.

  
"Self harm?" Shizuo spoke up first, Izaya tensing.   
"I dont know what you're talking about, Shizu-Chan" the raven dismissed, Shizuo scowling.   
"Dont play dumb with me, flea, Shinra may be an idiot, but he doesn't just make shit up" he sneered, standing from his position, his cut-short fuse of patience reaching the end of it's tether.   
"I dont see how that's any of your business, Shizu-Chan" Izaya's voice took on a deadly serious edge and it made Shizuo even angrier, turning and gripping Izaya's collar, turning the snarling raven to face him, red face and all.   
Mocha glared at wine.  
Wine glared at mocha.  
"You fucking cut yourself? Are you insane?" Shizuo hissed, making Izaya cringe faintly at the bitter smell of tobacco on his tongue. Izaya snarled and smacked Shizuo's hand off his shirt.   
  
"Get the fuck off me, it has nothing to do with you, Shizu-Chan."  
"Fuck off it has nothing to do with me!" Shizuo was yelling now, fists clenched, trying very hard to contain himself and _not_ break Celty's furniture.   
"It doesnt" the informant snapped back, eyes narrowed as he turned around, cursing. "Fuck the pills, Im going home" he muttered, moving to walk away.   
"You're not getting out of it this easily you slippery shit!" Shizuo growled, reaching out and gripping Izaya's wrist, almost missing the way Izaya jumped and flinched at the touch. Shizuo's eyes widened when he applied pressure, reeling back as if he'd been burnt, breath hitching in his throat. "Izaya... You..."  
Izaya didnt let him finish, turning sharply and slapping Shizuo right across the face as hard as he could, anger in his eyes before he turned on his heel and dashed out of the apartment.

  
Shizuo stayed there for a minute, feeling the hot burn of the slap on his cheek, though it was the last of his concerns right now.   
"His wrist..." He murmured to himself.   
"You look pretty shell shocked" Shinra's voice came next, standing in the threshold of the hallway and the living room holding a bottle of flu pills, frowning faintly. "I saw him run out, what happened? You couldv'e stopped him but you hesitated."  
"His wrist..." Shizuo swallowed the lump in his throat, turning to Shinra but looking down at his own hand that he had grabbed Izaya with. "I could feel his bone bending when I grabbed him... I couldv'e snapped it without even trying..."  
"Cant you do that with most people?" Shinra blinked.   
Shizuo shook his head and swallowed. "No... Well yeah I can but... It was almost like.. Like you could break it" he looked up at Shinra, who was giving him a confused expression. "Shinra... Has Izaya always been so... Fragile?"

 


	3. Chapter 3: Forgetting To Breathe

Chapter 3: Forgetting To Breathe

 

_"Shinra... Has Izaya always been so... Fragile?"_

  
This made the familiar look of realization dawn onto Shinra's face and the doctor sighed, both he and Celty coming into the room, the brunette setting the pills on the table. "Yes and no? The last time he came here after you two fought last, he was almost... Like a child I suppose?"  
Shizuo's brow furrowed in confusion.   
"The hell does that mean?"  
"It means that he should be heavier than he is" Shinra frowned.  
"Heavier?"  
"Shizuo how tall are you?"  
Shizuo blinked at the random question, shrugging slightly and placing his hand near the middle of his neck. "Well Kasuka comes up to about here or so... So what, 6 foot or something?"

  
"And how much do you weigh?" Shinra asked, eyes lowered, though they held a certain resolve, like he knew exactly what he was asking and why.   
"Last time I weighed myself I was about 70 something" the bartender answered.  
"Exactly" Shinra sighed, standing and pointing to Celty. "She's about the same height as Izaya, roughly 5 foot 9 or so" he then pointed at Shizuo. "You've probably never been close enough to Izaya to notice, but you're a lot taller than him and therefore a lot heavier." Shinra inhaled and sighed. "Celty weighs more than Izaya" he frowned, shaking his head. "Izaya weighs about the same as Anri-Chan." He sighed.   
Shizuo swallowed, he couldn't really put a face to this 'Anri', but he'd picked up Celty before as a joke and commented on how weightless she was.   
"So... What, he cant gain weight or..?" Shizuo didnt really want to think about the other possibility for some reason. Shinra sighed and shook his head.   
"More like he doesn't eat enough to gain weight, as a medical professional, even one in my line of business, it worries me. He gets sick easily since he's so slight, but I have to monitor him, one bad cold could lead to pnemonia or plurisy and if that doesn't kill him, scepticemia would."  
Shizuo frowned at the medical jargon, but his eyes widened at the word _kill_. It was a word he'd used, a word that everyone used, though he'd never felt the crushing weight of those four letters on his chest until he heard them in that instant.   
Shizuo felt sick.

Meanwhile, the informant of Shinjuku was stumbling through the rainy streets of Ikebukuro.   
The man that knew everything going on under the surface of the city he was in the middle of, who know every dark secret and illicit detail about its salacious underground activities was now keeled over coughing violently in the middle of the street. He felt a heavy painful pressure on his chest and back, his eyes wide as he tried to get in a breath, only for his lungs to fail him and leave him wheezing in the rain. He dropped his umbrella when his body hit the pavement, wheezing and coughing, eyes screwing shut, warm drips sliding down his face mixed in with the cold rain. It took him a moment for his lethargic brain to acknowledge that the coughing had brought painful tears to his eyes. He managed to get in half a breath only to cough and wheeze again, barely registering the sounds of wet footsteps going past him.

  
 _Assholes... Why isn't anyone helping me..? Well its not like they can really do anything..._ Izaya though through his coughing haze, his vision swimming. His body was freezing, lying curled in a ball on his side against the cold, wet concrete, panting and wheezing after his coughing fit.   
He had no energy in his body at all, he found no stamina to pick himself up, if anything he felt like he was going to pass out where he was.   
He didn't notice the sound of fast wet clops until they stopped in front of him, large calloused warm hands closing around his back and under his knees. The raven felt himself floating for a moment before he was pressed against a warm chest. Izaya coughed weakly once more, wheezing and panting, gritting his teeth as he tried to reach for the neglected Mimiso umbrella lying on the sidewalk. He scratched weakly at the person who'd picked him up's shoulder, trying to get around him to reach for the umbrella. The person stopped and made a small sound of acknowledgement, turning back and grabbing the umbrella, closing it and carrying Izaya towards a van, the raven dropping his hands weakly before he gave in to the darkness, falling unconscious feeling oddly safe in the warm arms of his enemy.

 

Izaya shot awake to a painful pressure on his back, wincing and panting, eyes wide. He felt like he'd been asleep for hours, but looking around, he was in the back of Kadota's van, wrapped in a warm blanket with a space heater beside him. Or at least that's what it felt like. Looking around a little more, he noticed he was pressed to Shizuo's side, the blond leaning on the back of the seat Erika currently occupied, excitingly talking to Walker about the newest volume of **_Ten Count_** by Takurai Rihito, Togusa driving and Kadota in the passenger seat. Izaya's eyes were still wide, his eyes studying Shizuo's calmly sleeping face, one of Shizuo's arms wrapped limply around Izaya's waist, the blanket covering Izaya also covering him, like Shizuo had been trying to keep Izaya warm.   
Izaya felt his cheeks flush slightly and he leaned back again, eyes lowered, coughing and wincing.   
The small noise made Shizuo jerk awake, looking over at Izaya with sleepy mocha eyes, rubbing the sleep from them before blinking again, his hand reaching out and pushing back Izaya's bang, checking his temperature. Izaya flinched at the touch, eyes wide. Shizuo sighed faintly and nodded. "Fever's gone down" he sighed, smilng faintly. "That's good at least."  
"Shizu-Chan..?" Izaya mumbled, Shizuo tilting his head in question, though Izaya really didnt know what he was going to say, simply staring dumbly at the blond's face.  
"Where are we going?" He asked instead, swallowing a lump in his throat at the thought of going home so late.   
"Shinra's" Shizuo answered and Izaya couldn't contain the whoosh of relief that left his lips. "You didnt take your flu pills before you left and you collapsed in the street so we're going to go get those and get Shinra to give you a checkup, after that..." Shizuo scowled slightly, like he didnt really like the idea of what came next. "I'll be taking you to my place and looking after you for a few weeks."  
Izaya couldn't blame him, he didnt like this idea either.  
"No way in hell" Izaya scoffed, shaking his head. "Im not a grade schooler, I can take care of myself just fine."  
"Says the one that collapsed in the street in a coughing fit? Yeah sure I believe you." Izaya narrowed his eyes and reached into his jacket pocket hoping to grab onto the familiar handle of his switchblade, only to grab a piece of wet cardboard. He blinked, the anger disappearing on his face to be replaced with confusion, pulling the mushy cardboard from his pocket, looking at it only to find that it was the now-wet tag from Shizuo's Mimiso umbrella. He deadpanned and shoved it back in his pocket, sighing.   
"Whatever. I'll be the worst houseguest you've ever had just to spite you, Shizu-Chan" the raven scoffed, crossing his arms as the van parked in the parking lot of the apartment lot. The pair got out of the car, the van gang staying to wait, Izaya scowling and Shizuo letting a smug smirk onto his face at angering the flea.


	4. Chapter 4: Leading A Horse To Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Ootoro is just fatty tuna, its a specific type of fish that Izaya particularly likes.

Chapter 4: Leading A Horse To Water

 

"Is this what you were panicking about, Izaya?"  
Shizuo pointed to his small fireplace and of course casually hanging around it like it owned the place was a tiny spider about the size of Shizuo's thumbnail.   
"Get it out." Izaya said slowly and Shizuo barked a laugh.   
"Izaya its tiny."  
"So is your dick but I dont point that out" the raven responded calmly and when Shizuo didnt respond Izaya wheeled around to see his reaction.   
Shizuo's eyes were on Izaya's face with an amused smirk on his lips. "You wanna bet? Because I dont mind proving it---"  
"LALALALALA NOT LISTENING TO YOUR PROTOZOAN BULLSHIT" Izaya called, hands up as he stormed out of the living room he'd been in the middle of cleaning and back to Shizuo's bedroom, letting out a haggard cough at the thick air of cigarette smoke in the air.   
"Shit, sorry" Shizuo murmured, having followed Izaya, opening the window to air out the room.   
"Just try and kill the person with pnemonia why dont you?" Izaya managed between coughs, fumbling around on the bedside table and bed, searching for something. Shizuo frowned and tapped his shoulder, holding out the inhaler he was looking for, Izaya taking in and having a few quick puffs, slowly exhaling them when his need to cough stopped.

Izaya had been at Shizuo's small apartment for 2 days now, and the pair had managed to live in mostly undisturbed harmony. Shizuo was surprised to find out that Izaya really was a well behaved houseguest, anything he moved he put back, he barely used any electricity or much of the heating, the only complaint Shizuo really had was his smart mouth and really, there wasn't much he could do about that.   
Well that and the fact that Izaya had refused to really eat anything since he arrived. Shizuo had accidentally walked into the bathroom (that was lacking a lock from Shizuo accidentally breaking it off, he had yet to tell the landlord that he needed a new one) when Izaya was about to shower, catching a glimpse of Izaya's bare back and legs, the raven having only been wearing a pair of black underwear.  
It made Shizuo sick to see how thin he was, he could count Izaya's ribs, see each vertibrae in his spine, see how his shoulder bone still wasnt properly set in place from one of the times they'd fought.   
Shizuo quickly shut the door after he caught that glimpse, shuddering to himself and vowing to make the raven eat something.   
And that was precisely what he was planning on doing, though he'd come out of the shower to Izaya screaming and when he ran out to find out what was wrong, it was the tiny spider's fault.   
Shizuo watched Izaya slowly take puffs of his inhaler, eyes closed as he focused on keeping his breathing even as he mulled over ways he could get the raven to eat.  
  
 **Attempt 1: The blunt way.  
**  
"Hey Izaya" Shizuo hummed, wine eyes flicking up to him and a dark eyebrow raising in question. "Come to dinner with me tonight" he crossed his arms, watching Izaya's reaction.  
The informant narrowed his eyes, pursing his lips. "Im not going on a date with you, Shizu-Chan."  
"D-Date?! Not on a date you dumbass flea!"  
  
 **Attempt 1: Blatant failure.  
**  
Shizuo pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing and pursing his lips, scratching the back of his neck.   
Attempt 2: The not-so-direct way  
"Izaya" the blond called again, Izaya straightening up and sighing.   
"What?"  
"What foods do you like? So I know what to get when I go shopping."  
Izaya blinked and paused to think, Shizuo internally grinning.   
"Ootoro." Izaya answered after a moment, Shizuo blinking.   
"Just Ootoro?"  
"Just ootoro."  
"Nothing else?"  
"Nope."  
"You dont like any other foods but ootoro?"  
"Ootoro is the best."  
"You want me to buy 3 weeks worth of _just ootoro_?"  
"Is there a problem with that?"  
Shizuo ground his teeth together.   
"Not at all."  
  
 **Attempt 2: Bad success, but a success none the less.**  
  
Shizuo decided to wait a few hours before he tried again, though this time he had a more solid plan. He went out for a while, did a little shopping and came back with a few packs of beer, some vanilla vodka and some carry out ootoro from Russia Sushi, eyes lowered as he set them on the kitchen counter.   
  
_Final attempt: The drinking game._  
  
Izaya looked up curiously from his place on the couch, having been flicking through tv channels boredly for the past 20 minutes.   
"You bought beer" he commented with a surprised edge to his voice.   
"Yeah, we should drink together tonight, I haven't got work until afternoon tomorrow and you're house ridden anyways" Shizuo shrugged, eyes lowered as he watched Izaya stand up and walk over, shrugging.   
"I guess I could have a few drinks" he hummed, reaching for a can only to be stopped by Shizuo's hand.   
Izaya blinked and rose a brow, looking up to Shizuo watching him. "One condition" the blond hummed slowly, Izaya pursing his lips.   
"What is it?"  
"Eat dinner with me first."  
He could see the hesitation in Izaya's eyes, but this time he wasn't going to give up, pulling the tray of ootoro from the Russia Sushi bag. "I got you ootoro and I expect you to eat it all, you cant just drink without eating first, you'll make youself sick."  
 _He has a good point._ Izaya thought, sighing faintly. "Fine."  
Shizuo smirked faintly in victory and nodded, handing Izaya the box and a pair of disposable chopsticks, the raven breaking them apart and opening the box, cooing at the sight of the fatty ootoro.

  
Shizuo watched him carefully, unable to describe the weight that was lifted off his chest when he saw Izaya bite into the fish, he felt a werd sense of pride, like he was watching his child eat his least favourite food without complaining. He felt a smile on his lips before he could stop it, eyes lowered as he watched the raven clear off the ootoro.   
"Ootoro really is the best" Izaya murmured, licking his lips and his thumb, looking up at Shizuo again and deadpanning. "What's with that face? Creepy" he scoffed and Shizuo wiped his smile off his face and rolled his eyes, handing Izaya a beer, pouring himself some vodka, making sure he was going to stay sober enough to look after the raven.

 

"Yknow, I bet people dont like drinking with you" Shizuo said, amused as he watched Izaya slur and hiccup, a steady blush on his face as he sipped from his 9th--yes 9th--beer, head on the coffee table.   
"Shut up~!" He slurred, slamming his can down with a hiccup, Shizuo snickering faintly.   
"Whatchu say?!" Izaya huffed, glaring at Shizuo.   
"I didnt say anything" Shizuo couldnt hide the amusement in his voice anymore. Izaya blinked.   
"I didnt say anything?" He seemed confused.   
"No, _I_ didnt say anything" Shizuo corrected and Izaya gave a hiccuped laugh.  
"You're funny Shinji!"  
"My name's Shizuo" the bartender chuckled, eyebrow raised.   
"Yeah, you're Shizu-Chan!" Izaya's face lit up and Shizuo's eyes widened, feeling his face heat up a little, Izaya giving a blissful giggle.   
"Cute..." Shizuo murmured, Izaya blinking and tilting his head, confused.   
  
_Wait_... Shizuo thought.   
_WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAY?!_  
 _DEAR LORD SHIZUO_ _GET A GRIP!_  
 ** _On Izaya's dic---_**

  
"Shizu-Chan~!" Izaya whined, interrupting Shizuo's inner turmoil, the blond's head whipping back to the raven lying lazily on the couch, eyes lowered. "Its hot in here, can you turn on the fan pretty pretty please~?" he whined, Shizuo shivering at the way the raven was sprawled out.   
"No way" Shizuo shook his head, standing and taking the drinks to the kitchen, putting the remainder of Izaya's beer and his vodka glass in the fridge with the others. "Its just the alcohol, its time for bed, you" he hummed, Izaya sitting up and cooing.   
"Shizu-Chan's so smart, I like it" he mused, kicking his legs, clearly not trusting himself to stand up stabily. Shizuo came over and lifted him like he weighed nothing more than a feather, and to be honest, he really didnt, Shizuo shuddered slightly at how thin he was, carrying the giggling raven to the bed and lying him down, covering him up. Izaya smiled widely and looked up a him with shining wine eyes. Shizuo blinked and found himself trapped staring at him, cheeks pinkening. "Hey Shizu-Chan~? Can you do one more thing for me before I go to sleep?"

  
"What is it?" Shizuo's brow furrowed faintly, waiting to reject Izaya's plead for another drink.   
"Kiss me?"  
"... What?"  
Shizuo's eyes widened, cheeks darkening at Izaya's request. Izaya looked away and nibbled his lip, shuffling.   
"Please? Just on the forehead is fine..."   
Shizuo swallowed, beyond unconfortable with seeing this vulnerable, almost cute side of his supposed enemy, sighing faintly. He swallowed, gently leaning down and pressing his lips to Izaya's forehead, pulling back a second later and looking away. "Goodnight, Izaya." He murmured, the raven blinking and smiling warmly, nodding.   
"Yeah, night night Shizu-Chan."


	5. Chapter 5: Spare The Rod And Spoil The Child

Chapter 5: Spare The Rod And Spoil The Child

 

Izaya woke up groggy and confused. He sat up slowly, feeling the pressure of his pnemonia on his chest, though it had eased significantly, or maybe that was just because he was focused on the pressure of a headache wracking his head. The door opened a moment later and Shizuo came in with a packet of painkillers and a black coffee (since Izaya made it vehemently clear that he wouldn't drink Shizuo's 'swill' of sweetened coffee), coming over to the bed.

"How's the headache?" he mused, clearly entertained by Izaya's pain. The raven huffed and took the beverage and medicine, taking a sip of the coffee and reading the back of his Amoxicyllin packet with a frown. "Can I take painkillers with these?" he asked, holding the packet out to Shizuo, who blinked.

"Shinra said you could, he encouraged you to if the pain became too much so you should be fine" he shrugged, Izaya nodding and taking the pills.

"The wall is fine by the way, so dont worry" Shizuo grinned and Izaya's brow furrowed.

"What wall?"

"Last night you stood up, crashed into the wall and kept apologizing to it" he snickered, leaning back and crossing his arms. Izaya groaned and deadpanned, rubbing his temples.

"Of course I did." He groaned, shaking his head and getting out of bed, stretching and grunting, wincing faintly. Shizuo frowned.

"You okay? How's your back?" Izaya rolled his eyes.

"Will you quit acting so creepy? You've been weirdly nice since I collapsed, its off putting and disgusting" he scoffed, rolling his shoulders. "I just need a shower and I'll be fine."

"Alright" Shizuo rose a brow. "Well I have to head off to work, so just stay here today."

"I thought you didn't have work until the afternoon" Izaya frowned, Shizuo nodding.

"I didnt, its 2pm."

"ITS FUCKING WHAT?! I HAVE WORK TO DO!"

"No going outside!" Shizuo called after Izaya as the raven ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

"Look Shizu-Chan I know Im practically under house arrest by you but I have a meeting with Shiki-San today that's really important!"

"I dont want you getting worse" Shizuo frowned and Izaya sighed from inside the bathroom, peeking his head out from a crack in the door.

"Look, this is important so I cant skip it, but I'll just be outside long enough for Shiki-San to pick me up then I'll be inside Awakusu-Kai anyways." He saw Shizuo's frown deepen and dropped his head, sighing. "Look I promise I'll be back by 8 tonight okay? Can you just let me do this?"

"... Fine" the blond frowned, sighing. "If you're not back by 8 Im scowering Ikebukuro for your dumb ass."

"Yeah yeah, now go to work protozoan!"

"Hey Tom-San...." Shizuo murmured when he was on his break at Lottaria with Tom and Varona, eyes lowered as he looked out the window, still on edge even though he knew exactly where Izaya was.

"Hmm?" Tom looked up and blinked, pushing up his glasses. "What's on your mind, Shizuo?" he hummed, Shizuo sipping his milkshake.

"Say you had someone close to you... Or not really 'close' but you two are living together" he started, Tom raising a brow slightly, looking over at Varona, suspecting he was talking about her, though the Russian girl looked back at Tom and shook her head, just as confused as he was.

"Yeah?" Tom blinked, probing him to continue.

"And you hate this person... Like there's literally nothing desirable about them at all, but you find yourself... Worrying about them, like you're constantly thinking about what they're doing or what they're thinking or if they're really okay when they say they're okay... You just want to keep them inside with just you and no one else..."

Tom blinked, raising a brow.

"You got a girlfriend?"

Shizuo choked on his milkshake, eyes widening the moment the words left Tom's mouth. "What?!" He spluttered. "No way!"

Tom rose a brow and leaned on the table. "Well everything you just said, sounds like you're in love, but yknow Shizuo, you cant just have someone to yourself like that, you have to give the person some space yknow" he hummed, Shizuo's eyes widening, the blond shooting to stand, slamming his hands down on the Lottaria table, causing small cracks in the inexpensive wood.

"There's no way Im in love with that pest!"

"Pest?" Tom and Varona both said at the same time, looking over at each other.

"You dont mean Izaya Orihara do you?" Varona finished, her violet eyes widening slightly at the red that creeped up Shizuo's neck.

"No way! Someone completely different! S-Someone with uh... White hair! A-And fat! And a girl!"

"White hair?" Tom and Varona looked at each other again.

"I've never seen such a person" Varona finished, Shizuo clearing his throat.

"S-Sorry Tom-San but I've gotta go... Do you think you two can handle the rest?"

Tom chuckled and waved a hand. "No sweat, the rest of the people are easy going anyways, you head home or something, cool your head."

Shizuo nodded, tossing his trash in the bin before speedwalking out of Lottaria and down the street.

 

"Love? Me? With that fucking flea? No chance!" Shizuo scoffed, kicking a rock down the street before he stopped, thinking about how Izaya had acted the previous night, how he'd smiled so warmly at him, asked him to kiss his head...

Shizuo had a blank look on his face, his cheeks flushing up. _Izaya's smile when he said goodnight to Shizuo..._ He looked up into the sky, smiling like an idiot. _The way Izaya had said he liked how smart he was..._ His smile widened, his eyes turning into slight slits as he dropped his head to look at the ground, eyes lowering and sparkling slightly.

_Izaya reaching for his umbrella when he was practically dying in the street like it was the most important thing to him..._

"But he was drunk!" Shizuo shook his head to clear it, panting faintly, gripping his bangs with a grunt, cursing himself for his stupid behaviour.

"In Vino Veritas." Came a voice from behind him, startling him so the blond jumped before whipping around and staring at an older man leaning on the wall, his dark brown hair chopped short and his cheekbones pronounced, a scar on his eyebrow. Haruya Shiki.

"What does that mean?" Shizuo blinked and frowned.

"It means 'with wine comes truth', or the fact that people speak the truth when they are drunk." Shiki murmured, looking over at Shizuo.

"Wait... How did you know..?"

"You said all of that out loud" Shiki hummed, an almost amused edge to his tone. "In Vino Veritas, Mr. Heiwajima."

"I'm not drunk," Shizuo blinked at him.

"You're drunk on passion," Shiki hummed, shrugging away from the wall.

Shizuo stared dumbly at him for a few moments before he finally found his voice. "I'm not drunk?"

Shiki rolled his eyes, sighing faintly before Shizuo blinked and scowled. "Wait a minute, I though you had a meeting with Izaya?"

"I do, in another..." he checked his watch. "30 minutes from now."

"The fuck..?" Shizuo muttered, scowling and checking his phone, the display reading that it was almost 6:30pm.

"Then why make a fuss about leaving early..?" he muttered more to himself, eyes narrowed.

A moment later, a black car pulled up on the street that Shizuo had been brooding on, Shiki humming and opening the door. "A word of advice, Mr. Heiwajima" he murmured, looking back at Shizuo. "Orihara Izaya may think he is a god, but he is just a child." He got in the car and rolled the window down, Shizuo coming over with a frown to listen to what he had to say.

"It is not wise to get too deeply involved with him, he is a man with a soul coated in fifty layers of blood."

The car drove away after that line, leaving Shizuo in a cloud of smoke and gravel, a scowl on his face.

He felt offended, offended for Izaya that the raven had practically been insulted by his boss.

"Whatever..." Shizuo muttered, scowling and shoving his hands in his pockets, going back to quietly brooding as he walked around Ikebukuro.

By the time Shizuo actually got home Izaya was back, sitting on the couch like he owned the place, watching tv almost disjointedly, his eyes constantly flickering down to his phone resting by his left foot. Shizuo sighed and came in, Izaya looking over boredly. "Hey"

"Hey" the blond sighed, putting some shopping bags down and stretching, sighing.

"I have to go out again tonight, I wont be gone long though" Izaya informed, Shizuo frowning.

"Work?"

"Half work half personal reasons" the raven hummed, looking back at the tv screen.

Shizuo's lips pursed to say 'no' on instinct, but he snacked his lips together when he remembered what Tom had said about giving him space.

"Fine, dont be long." He muttered, scowling to himself.

Izaya blinked, nodding and standing. "I'll have a shower and get changed before I leave then" he hummed.

"Yeah, you do that" Shizuo murmured, going and sitting on the couch where Izaya had been as the raven went to the bathroom. Shizuo jumped when he felt a vibration under his ass, jumping up before realizing it was Izaya's phone that he'd left on the couch. The blond rolled his eyes and picked it up, the screen flashing on with a text message that made Shizuo's blood boil.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

From: Tsukumoya Shinichi

Time: 8:43pm

Subject: See you there

I'll meet you at the love hotel at 9, room 45, I'll leave the key half under the door.

\- Shinichi

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


	6. Chapter 6: Jealousy That Is Too Hot Can Burn A Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prewarning: There's sex in this chapter.

Chapter 6: Jealousy That Is Too Hot Can Burn A Man

 

Shizuo felt creepy.

He couldn't contain his rage at that text message, so he'd followed Izaya to the love hotel, and was now lurking outside of room 45, ear pressed up to the door, waiting for any incriminating sounds, ready to burst in and stop the scene. He could only vaguely hear, but he could hear well enough to make out words.

"Was it really necessary to do this at a love hotel?" Izaya's voice.

"Coming to my place would have been too far, you had to shake off your bodyguard to get here right?" An unfamiliar voice Shizuo presumed was 'Tsukumoya'.

"Yeah I suppose" Izaya sighed delicately. "He's getting better with that."

"With what? Giving you basic human rights? So what if you're sick, you dont need a babysitter" Tsukumoya scoffed. Izaya laughed faintly and Shizuo felt his blood boiling.

"He's not like a babysitter... More like an overprotective boyfriend I guess" Shizuo refused to acknowledge how his heart jumped when Izaya said _boyfriend_ , pressing his ear closer to the door.

"So what, are you fucking the bodyguard now?"

"No way, we hate each other, its kind of the theme between us yknow?"

Shizuo had officially heard enough. He shot the door open with narrowed eyes, both Izaya and the silver haired Tsukumoya looking over with wide eyes, Izaya's jaw dropping.

"Shizu-Chan?!" He walked in, scooping Izaya over his shoulder, growling threateningly at Tsukumoya and stalking out of the room, Izaya kicking and punching his back, slinging curses at him.

Shizuo didnt put him down until he had reached the apartment again, putting Izaya down outside and unlocking the door. "Are you fucknig insane?!" Izaya snapped, eyes wide. "I had fucking work to do you asshole!" He yelled, following Shizuo as he walked inside the apartment. The raven growled and grabbed Shizuo's shoulder, turning the larger man. "Are you fucking listening---" he blinked at the blond's expression, eyes smouldering with the fire of burning contained rage. Izaya swallowed and took a step back. "O-Oi what's going on with you..?" He cursed the stutter, Shizuo stepping towards him methodically, Izaya stepping back again, the pattern continuing until Izaya was trapped against the front door. "O-Oi Sh-Shizu-Chan..." Izaya swallowed thickly.

He had never felt more afraid of Shizuo than he did in this instant.

Shizuo reached out, his hand closing around Izaya's throat, though without any pressure, just resting there so Izaya couldn't possibly turn his head away from him. Izaya's breath caught in his throat, he was utterly terrified that Shizuo would just snap his larynx right here and now and end the game of cat and mouse they'd been playing.

But no, instead he got something he never expected from the litmus paper that was Shizuo Heiwajima.

Izaya's eyes widened when he felt warm chapped lips against his own, Shizuo's hand still resting gently on Izaya's neck, the raven too shocked to respond. Shizuo pulled back a moment later, licking his lips at Izaya's expression.

The boy was staring at him with wide eyes the colour of dried blood, his cheeks flushed red and his lip parted where his jaw had fallen slack from the shock. Shizuo shivered, hand against Izaya's throat still as he licked his lips again, leaning back in, not giving Izaya any more time to mull over the process, his tongue forcing it's way into Izaya's parted lips. Izaya squeaked and felt his cheeks heat up even more when he tasted tobacco on his tongue. He shivered in delight, eyes slowly closing as his tongue bumped Shizuo's back, joining their messy waltz, arms winding up to wrap around Shizuo's neck. Shizuo kept his hand on Izaya's throat, the other moving around to squeeze the raven's bony hip, earning a short gasp in response. He shivered and reluctantly pulled back to breath, Izaya inhaling sharply and panting faintly, cheeks dark and eyes lowered into slits, almost black with how big his pupils were. Shizuo felt a shiver wrack his whole body, pulling Izaya closer, moving his other hand to Izaya's other hip, latching his lips onto Izaya's sharp jawline, kissing down the line of his jaw and down the smooth column of his throat, marking the porcelain skin with light bites and small sucks that had Izaya twisting his hands in Shizuo's hair. Each noise that Izaya made spurred Shizuo on even further, marking certain places that Izaya reacted particularly well to in his mind for later, leaning down further to give that delectable collarbone a sharp and fierce bite.

Izaya's head lulled back with a positively sinful moan. Shizuo cursed, leaning away and grabbing Izaya's hand pulling the raven with him to the bedroom and shoving his enemy onto the bed, unbuttoning his vest and shirt as fast as he could, Izaya sitting on the bed with lustful eyes watching him, a bruise already blossoming on his collarbone. Shizuo groaned and tossed his shirt and vest behind him, no longer caring about them, climbing onto the bed and pushing off Izaya's jacket, tossing that away as well. Izaya shivered, kicking off his pants and licking his lips. Shizuo cursed, pushing up Izaya's shirt, diving and attacking his thin chest with kisses and bites that made the raven writhe and pant beneath him. He reached a puffy pink nipple and groaned, licking over it and gaining a sharp gasp, smirking before biting down roughly. Izaya let out a noise that was almost a cry, panting harshly. Shizuo stopped short for a moment before a sly grin stretched over his face. "You like it rough?" He purred, Izaya's face flushing an even darker red.

"Im as surprised as you are, Shizu-Chan" he breathed, Shizuo smirking and ripping Izaya's underwear off him.

"Then I should probably stop being so gentle huh?" He smirked, pressing his fingers to Izaya's lips. "Suck." He demanded, Izaya cringing and turning his nose up.

"Gross, you have lotion in the bathroom, use that" he scoffed, Shizuo only smirking wider and pushing his fingers against Izaya's lips again.

"I said suck." He purred huskily, Izaya shivering before he swallowed, parting his lips, taking Shizuo's fingers into his mouth, sucking softly, eyes never leaving Shizuo's, the blond shivering and groaning.

He pulled his fingers from that sinful mouth when they were thoroughly coated, dropping his hand down to push Izaya's legs open, rubbing at the twitching, puckered pink entrance. "You seem to want this pretty badly" the blond purred, Izaya flushing and shivering, moaning when Shizuo pushed in his middle finger, probing around and purring when the raven adjusted faster than he thought he would.

"You do this to yourself when you're alone, dont you, Izaya?" Shizuo's voice dripped literal debauchery and Izaya positively _whimpered_. He panted and nodded faintly, Shizuo smirking and pressing a second finger into him. Izaya shivered, his head going back with a keen as Shizuo began stretching and scissoring his fingers. The raven panted harshly and gripped the sheets, his back arching. Shizuo purred and stroked over a rough bundle inside the other, Izaya's eyes shooting open with a short cry before he arched and tensed, warmth splattering his bare stomach.

Shizuo's eyes widened and he blinked. "Did you just cum? From just this?" He blinked, stroking the bundle again, Izaya tensing again and letting out a strangled moan, his thighs twitching desperately. Shizuo shivered and gave a heated moan under his breath, cursing and jabbing that spot roughly a few times, earning sharp cries each time. he shivered and withdrew his fingers, pressing the head of his cock against Izaya's twitching hole. The raven whimpered, looking down at where Shizuo was pressing against him and groaning. "God you really are a monster..." He breathed, shivering in delight, Shizuo smirking and pushing into Izaya.

The informant's jaw slackened at the sudden feeling of being so completely and utterly filled. He felt his eyes rolled back into his head for a moment, his mind going blank. "Holy fucking shit..." He managed.

"Sh... Shit... Izaya are you okay..? God you're so fucking tight..." Shizuo cursed. "Maybe I should pull out..." He murmured to himself, going to move away before Izaya latched his legs around the bartender's hips.

"Dont you dare fucking stop!" He panted, shivering and biting his lip. "Now fuck me! Fuck me hard you monster!" He managed, losing his grip on his composure when Shizuo smirked darkly, pulling back almost completely before he smashed back deep into Izaya, the raven letting out a loud cry, scratching at the sheets. "Fuck!"

"You sound like a whore" Shizuo purred between thrusts when he was sure Izaya could hear him over the boy's moans.

"Then fuck me like a slut!" Izaya gasped out, the filter he usually had on his words utterly out the window as he cried words he never thought he'd say in his life.

"God! Fuck yes Shizuo! Fucking harder! You're so fucking deep! Fuck my slutty little boy cunt! Do it! Oh fucking god yes!"

Shizuo groaned and wiped his brow, Izaya's words only spurring him to go faster and harder, Izaya's eyes rolled back into his head, jaw slackened as he let moans and cries spill from his mouth like a broken faucet.

He could feel Izaya's body tensing and releasing, feel his hips twitching wildly under his fingertips. He shivered, reaching up and grabbing the collar of the shirt Izaya was still only barely wearing, smashing his lips to Izaya's in a messy and sloppy kiss that was all tongue and teeth. It seemed to shove Izaya straight over the edge and he reached up, pointy nails digging into Shizuo's shoulders and raking down his back, crying out into Shizuo's mouth as he tensed completely, warmth splashing between their stomachs. Shizuo pulled back and threw his head back with a shout of Izaya's name, snapping his hips forward once final time before spilling himself completely into the panting, moaning boy beneath him.

Izaya looked utterly fucked out, his eyes slowly closing, saliva trailing down his chin as he gasped for breath, his whole body shuddering and twitching as Shizuo slowly pulled out of that hot hole now dripping white on the sheets and down Izaya's pale thighs. Shizuo shivered, reaching for a box of tissues and slowly cleaning the pair up, Izaya passing out from the gentle treatment. He chuckled breathlessly, kissing him gently once more before he laid beside him, puling the raven to his chest before he himself let sleep win. 


	7. Chapter 7: The Darkest Place Is Under The Candlestick

Chapter 7: The Darkest Place Is Under The Candlestick

 

Izaya woke to a dull ache in his hips and a scratchy throat. His eyes drifted over to where the bed was empty beside him, he reached over to the bedside table and grabbed his phone, checking the time.   
"10:54..." He murmured to himself, sighing and putting his phone back down. "That's twice in a row you've made me wake up late, Shizu-Chan..." He murmured, a hand reaching up and running over his collarbone, feeling scabbed up bite marks and small heated marks of hickeys. He felt his cheeks warm slightly, fingers dancing up his neck to the place Shizuo had aggressively sucked and bitten at behind his ear, suspecting that he'd find another hickey there. Continuing up, he swallowed, fingers pressing against his swollen bottom lip, remembering the feeling of Shizuo's large, rough fingers in his mouth, the heated small nibbles that Shizuo had given him when he wasn't fast enough in opening his mouth, the feeling of Shizuo's mouth on his as he fell into white hot bliss...  
"You're finally up" said blond's voice came from the doorway and Izaya's head shot up. He was in casual clothes, leaning on the doorframe with a coffee in his hand, hair messy. "You have a visitor too" he hummed, sipping from his mug before winking at him and leaving the room again.   
  
Izaya felt hot.  
  
Shoving on a turtleneck to hide as many of the marks as he could, he stretched his arms up, grunting at a pain in his hips when he did so. He huffed to himself and rubbed his lower back. "Monster through and through..." He muttered, pulling on his pants and sighing, padding out into the living room barefoot.   
Shinra smiled at him from the couch, a mug of tea in his hand, looking over at him. "Good morning, Izaya" he hummed, instantly spurring into action with a stethoscope, listening to Izaya's chest and back.   
He blinked.  
  
"How long have you been taking that medication?"  
"I just finished the packet a few minutes ago, why?" Izaya sighed, eyes lowered and dropping his arms when Shinra pulled away.   
"So you've been here for a week? Taking them regularly?"  
"Yeah something like that" he blinked. Shinra hummed and turned to Shizuo.   
"Shizuo, do you happen to have a pair of scales?" The blond blinked and him and nodded slowly. "Yeah in the bathroom, give me a sec" he yawned, disappearing into the bathroom before coming back with some floor scales.   
Shinra took them and set them up on the kithcen tiles, ushering Izaya over to them. "Take off your shirt and pants and stand on them in your boxers."  
Izaya and Shizuo gave each other a knowing glance.  
"Not a good idea." Izaya shook his head. "I'll just do it with my clothes on."  
"Izaya have you been injuring yourself again?" Shinra frowned.  
"No! Just trust me" he huffed, getting on the scales and blinking in surprise, both he and Shinra murmuring in unison.  
"60 kilos..."  
"Wait doesn't that mean he gained weight?" Shizuo piped up, scratching the back of his ear, Shinra nodding.   
"Whatever you're doing Shizuo, its working" He gave a bright grin. "Then in that case, Izaya, looks like you're ready to go home."  
"Home..?" Izaya blinked and swallowed, casting a look at Shizuo who was disappearing back to put the scales away.   
"Yeah! Your pnemonia's all cleared up and you've put on some weight, so you're all fine again." He smiled.   
"Anyways, I'd better get home, Celty's waiting outside, call me if there's any problems" the doctor smile and waved, skipping out of the apartment and shutting the door, Izaya standing in the kitchen with a frown.  
  
 _Home._  
"You good?" The raven looked up at Shizuo's voice and swallowed. "What'd Shinra say?"  
 ** _Lie to him._ **  
Izaya jumped slightly at the familiar voice in the back of his head, his eyes widening and body freezing with his mouth half open. "I..."  
 ** _Lie. To. Him._ **  
"Izaya? Are you okay?"   
"He said I have to stay here a little longer!" Izaya blurted out, watching Shizuo blink and frown.  
"Really? But he was so sure that you were getting better..."  
 _ **Lie better.** _  
"H... He said I should stay here t.. To put on some more weight..."  
"Are you sure you're okay? You dont look so hot" Shizuo frowned, coming over to the raven.  
Fucking useless, making him worry.   
"Shut up..." Izaya whispered, his body trembling. Shizuo frowned.   
"Hey lay off, Im worried about your dumb ass."  
  
 _ **Pathetic. A monster worrying about a god? Disgusting.**_  
"Go away..." Izaya whimpered, feeling hot tears pricking behind his eyes, Shizuo's frow urrowing and his body rippling with anger.   
"Listen here asshole..."  
 _ **You had sex with a monster! You're too good for that! You're too good for humans and you let a monster touch you! Fucking pathetic!** _  
"Go away! Go away go away go away go away!" He whimpered, clamping his hands over his ears and sinking to crouch, grinding his teeth together as tears slid down his cheeks.   
Shizuo blinked and frowned, this wasn't right, he wasn't talking to the blond. He swallowed and slowly came over, unsure how to react. "Izaya?"  
The voice laughed, the laughter echoing in Izaya's mind and bouncing off his temples, giving him an intense headache. The laughter continued as tried to shut his eyes as tight as possible, hoping it would stop.   
He opened his eyes slowly once the laughter ceased and lifted his head.

  
"Izaya?"  
He looked up when his name was called only or his eyes to widen at what he saw.   
_**"You sweet little thing, I'm not going anywhere, together forever, Izaya~"** _  
"No..." Izaya's lip trembled, staring at where Shizuo had been standing just a moment ago, the blond's figure melting away in hellfire.   
He saw him. He saw himself.   
He saw himself burning in the flames of the demon in front of him's eyes, screaming in agony.   
His own voice rang in his ears, his lips parted, trying to scream. Trying to call for help, but no sound left his mouth as his eyes rolled back and his body relaxed, falling to the side unconscious. No one would ever hear him or come to help.   
_**"Suffer forever alone, my sweet child."**_

Shizuo's eyes shot wide at the terrified look on Izaya's face when the raven lifted his head. All he had done was call Izaya's name, why was he looking at him like he was some kind of... Monster?  
Izaya stared at him for a moment, staring right into his eyes before he backed up, slamming his back into the fridge, lips parting before he let out a shrill, bloodcurdling scream of pure, unadulterated terror. Shizuo grunted and clamped his hands over his ears, waiting until it was over and looking back at the raven, who had slumped to the side, unconscious.   
The blond swallowed, his eyes wide in confusion and shock over what had just happened. He swallowed, slowly going over and picking up Izaya's now limp form, taking him back to the bedroom and lying him in bed, pulling the covers up and rushing out, quickly calling Shinra.   
"Shizuo? Is something wrong?" SHinra hummed when he answered. Shizuo knew his voice was going to shake before he even spoke, unsurprised when it cracked multiple times in his sentence.  
"Shinra... Something fucked up just happened I... All I did was ask him what you said... B-But he freaked out and started screaming and... He was looking at me like I was a demon or something I... Fuck Shinra what the fuck do I do?!"  
"Shit... I knew this would happen..." Shinra murmured.   
"What? Knew what would happen Shinra god damnit?!"   
"I have my suspicions that Izaya has more mental problems than he wants to admit, but he wont sit a psychiatric evaluation to prove anything." Shinra sighed. "Every now and then Izaya's been known to have hallucinations, this is probably one of those times. Normally he suffers through them alone, so seeing someone with him must've triggered it even further, you probably took on the form of one of his hallucinations and scared him."  
"What the fuck Shinra?! Why didnt you tell me that before?!" Shizuo snapped.   
"I'll come back over with the medication for it, he wasnt able to take his usual Clozapine with the Amoxycillin so I didnt think to mention it." He sighed. "I'll be over soon, just calm down."

  
Shizuo definitely didnt calm down, he paced the entire time until Shinra arrived and the after Shinra left he continued to pace, waiting for Izaya to wake up.   
When the raven stirred he shot over to his side, eyes wide. Izaya grunted and blinked, sitting up and rubbig his head.   
"Izaya!" Shizuo swallowed, said raven looking over at him.   
"Why are you so close to me? Creepy." He murmured, standing and sighing. "So anyways Shinra said I was free to leave, so Im out of here."  
Shizuo's brow furrowed. "Hold up, he said you had to stay here for a bit longer didnt he?"  
"Nope, I was lying to you" the raven hummed, gathering his things.   
Shizuo narrowed his eyes and grabbed Izaya's wrist.   
"Why the fuck would you lie about something like that?" he hissed, Izaya scoffing.  
"To fuck with you obviously?"  
Izaya winced when Shizuo slammed him against the wall, snarling. "No, you little shit, I want a real answer from you."  
"How about you get the fuck off me, monster?" Izaya hissed, eyes narrowed.   
Shizuo felt a pang in his chest at the thought of Izaya leaving him. He pushed the raven harder against the wall, breathing against his nape.   
"Not until you give me an answer."  
"Not happening, protozoan, I dont owe you shit" Izaya hissed, eyes narrowed and cheeks heated.   
Shizuo took a breath to calm himself, looking down at the smooth, pale skin of Izaya's nape, spying a faint few freckles littering the exposed skin.   
"Izaya..." Shizuo's voice became heated, Izaya's eyes widening as he felt a hot tongue sweep over his neck, shivering.   
"O-Oi what are you doing?" He squirmed, breath hitching when Shizuo bit down on his nape. "Sh... Shizu-Chan this isnt funny!" He breathed out, trying to move away only for Shizuo's hands to clamp down tighter on Izaya's wrists.   
"Sh...Shizu-Chan..."

  
"That's not my name flea..." Shizuo purred back, pushing his hips against Izaya's ass, wine eyes widening.   
"G-Get off me already pervert!"   
Shizuo ignored him, eyes lowered and lusty as he trailed more bites and kisses over his skin, finger hooking in the neck of his turtleneck, pulling only slightly, the material tearing open.   
Izaya's eyes widened, kicking his leg up right into Shizuo's crotch, the blond growling and grabbing him tighter, throwing him to the bed and straddling him.   
"Get the fuck off me!"  
The older male simply licked his lips, literally tearing the turtleneck off and kissing and sucking down Izaya's chest.   
"Sh-Shizuo stop..." Izaya whimpered faintly, fisting Shizuo's hair. The blond licked his lips and looked up at him from where he was kissing over the pale man's navel.   
"Why~?" He purred, licking his lips. Izaya's face flared red.   
"Im still fucking sore protozoan!" He snapped, Shizuo chuckling heatedly.   
"Then I wont fuck you" he purred, peeling Izaya's pants off his muscular and surprisingly waxed legs, doing the same with the black underwear, smirking at Izaya's hard on.   
"For all your struggling this part of you clearly still wants me" the blond murmured, taking the bobbing length into his hand, Izaya hissing at the jolt of pleasure that shot through him.   
The first lick had Izaya stiffening in response. The second made him groan softly. Shizuo shivered, paying close attention to the hitches in Izaya's breath and the moans he tried to hold back. He licked a long stripe from base to head, breathing warm air on it as he went back down to the base. Izaya's breaths grew heavier, his thigh hardening beneath Shizuo's palm before relaxing, the raven's head tipping back as he bit into his bottom lip, trying to muffle sounds that threatened to spill over.  
Izaya gasped and let out a sharp moan however, when Shizuo did something with his tongue that should be illegal. Izaya panted and shivered, grunting and whimpering as he fisted Shizuo's hair, the blond's motor skills at tonguing tobacco sticks giving him ridiculously good blowjob skills, Izaya's head going buzzy.   
"Sh... Shizu-Chan I cant..." Izaya's fingers curled into the blonde locks and he tried to push him away, but the man only swallowed him deeper.   
"S-slow down, Shizu-chan, you d-don't have to go this far..." He whimpered, choking off into a moan, his eyes rolling back as the man he both hated and yet badly wanted gave him the best blowjob of his life.

  
The feeling of a finger prodding at his entrance made Izaya's body jerk, the slickened digit entering him making him briefly wonder when Shizuo had slathered lotion on his finger. The raven choked out another moan as his dick hit the back of Shizuo's throat, his jaw hanging slack.   
One finger turned into two, fumbling around for a moment before prodding the spot that made Izaya's back arch taut like a bow, letting out a sinful cry as he spilled all that he was worth into Shizuo's mouth, thighs shaking.   
Shizuo pulled his mouth back with a groan and swallowed, panting faintly, wiping his mouth with the hand that wasnt busy probing around Izaya and turning the raven into a shaking mess. He shivered, slathering lotion over his member generously before pulling his hand back and pressing against Izaya.   
"Sh-Shizu-Chan!" Izaya managed before that hot, thick length slipped inside him, the raaven choking on his moan, bucking back subconsciously.   
"Mine." Shizuo hissed, biting down on Izaya's throat, the raven purring and panting.   
"I dont... Belong to you protozoan!" he managed to pant out, Shizuo narrowing his eyes and snapping his hips forward hard, smashing into Izaya's prostate and revelling in the scream that the informant gave in return.   
"Mine." He hissed again, punctuating each point with a thrust.   
"Mine to hate." Another thrust that had Izaya seeing stars.   
"Mine to fuck." Another thrust, Izaya's jaw hanging slack.   
"Mine to kill." He purred, another thrust gaining a cry of his name.   
"Mine to love." He swallowed, smashing his lips against Izaya's, drinking in the moans and cries that sparked when Izaya found his orgasm, body wracking and tightening, Shizuo slamming in a final time before he came harder than he thought he had in his whole life, releasing Izaya's lips when he was finished riding out the intense waves of pleasure, slowly pulling out of the informant and collpasing beside him, the pair of them panting harshly.

 _I said I loved him..._  
Shizuo didnt fall asleep after that, instead he lightly ran his fingers through the raven locks for a long time, thinking back at when he decided to kiss Izaya instead of bashing his head into the wall. Back then he'd hated him. When did that change?  
"Thank you," he softly whispered into a red ear, Izaya only twitching but not waking up. "A god and a monster, huh? That's funny."  
He swallowed and sighed, brushing a hand through his own hair.   
"I love you, so stay with me..." He whispered aloud.


	8. Chapter 8: Long Journeys Begin With A Step

  
Chapter 8: Long Journeys Begin With A Step

Shizuo goes out to the living room a few days later to find Izaya on the couch, bundled in a blanket eating peanut butter from the jar, eyes lowered and trained on a rerun of Hanamaru Kindergarten.   
"Why dont you just have a sandwich?" Shizuo rose a brow, going into the kitchen and pouring some coffee.   
Izaya didnt even seem surprised that he was up, sticking the spoon back in his mouth. "Bread means carbs, carbs dont sit well with me right now."  
Shizuo felt a vein pop up on his temple.   
"Maybe if you were more serious about getting better then they would agree with you" he scoffed, looking over at Izaya waiting for a snarky response. Though instead, Izaya just swalowed what was in his mouth and screwed the cap back on the jar, standing up and following Shizuo into the kithen, putting the peanut butter away and washing the spoon.   
Shizuo felt guilty.   
"I'll buy you some more peanut butter." Izaya mumbled before shuffling back to the couch and burying himself in the blanket again.   
Shizuo scowled and went back to his bedroom, grabbing his phone to find he had a text from Celty.   
_____________________________________________  
From: Celty   
Time: 9:06am  
Subject: Izaya  
How has it been living with Izaya? Has he been giving you any trouble?  
-セルテイ*ステルソン  
_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________  
From: Shizuo   
Time: 9:09am  
Subject: Dumbass Izaya  
You have no idea, he's impossible, just found him eating peanut butter from the jar, weird fuck  
_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________  
From: Celty   
Time: 9:11am  
Subject: Re: Impossible Izaya  
Why didnt he just make a sandwich?  
-セルテイ*ステルソン  
_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________  
From: Shizuo   
Time: 9:12am  
Subject: Fucking flea  
Right?! Like how hard is it? He said carbs arent good right now  
P.S Yknow you dont have to keep signing your responses, I know they're from you  
_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________  
From: Celty   
Time: 9:15am  
Subject: Trying?  
Doesnt that mean that he's at least trying? Like at least he's having something to eat that he _can_ actually eat

And Im going to continue signing them anyways  
-セルテイ*ステルソン  
_____________________________________________

Shizuo sighed, scowling. "I dont need you to tell me that, I feel guilty enough as it is..." He murmured to himself, sighing.   
Since confessing his love to Izaya while the raven slept, Shizuo wasn't entirely sure how to face the informant. He knew Izaya hadn't heard him, but either way he felt boxed in by his own feelings.   
The more opportunities he had to be nice to Izaya, the harsher he was, he wasnt acting like he had affections towards the flea at all, he had no idea how to love and it was pissing him off.   
He sighed, going into the bathroom to wash his face, blinking when he shut the door. He stared above the doorknob, as if trying to piece together why it didnt look right. When he figured it out he left the bathroom, going out to Izaya still on the couch, brow furrowed.   
"You fixed the bathroom lock..?"  
Izaya blinked and looked over at him.   
"Oh that, yeah well..." He shrugged. "You've taken me into your house, fed me, cared for me and all that jazz... I thought I'd do something in return. The kitchen sink's fixed now too, so you dont have to worry about it dripping and raising the water bill anymore, oh and I replaced your lumpy mattress too" he hummed like it was nothing.   
"... Why?" Shizuo was dumbstruck, eyes wide.   
Izaya blinked and tilted his head. "Why? I just told you why, you've done a lot for me, that's a tall order, especially for someone you dont even like."  
 _This is bad..._ Shizuo thought. _I wanna hug him..._   
"Thanks I guess..."

  
Shizuo sighed, moving over and sitting beside Izaya, pulling the blanket that was wrapped around the informant over hie legs, feeling Izaya's icy feet pressing against his forearm, making him flinch away. "Jesus fucking christ you're freezing!" izaya just blinked and looked away sheepishly.   
"Yeah sorry... Comes with the weight thing, I get cold pretty easily..." Shizuo's throat tightened at Izaya's voice, how he sounded so guilty, like his body temperature was a nuisance.   
"Why didnt you say that?" Shizuo rolled his eyes, scrambling for the remote to the air conditioner, switching the temperature up higher, the old white thing spitting out warm air instead of cold.   
"You sure?" Izaya furrowed his brow, Shizuo pulling the blanket over Izaya a little more.   
"Yeah, so shut up okay?" The blond grumbled, feeling his ears heat up, hand reaching under the blanket to cup Izaya's foot, the raven jerking, eyes wide.  
"Ticklish?"  
"Dont tickle me."  
 _Oh that's a tempting order to refuse..._ Shizuo snickered to himself, deciding to obey this time however, since things were going so smoothly right now.   
With the air conditioner paired with Shizuo's warm hands the raven soon fell asleep on the couch, mumbling gently to himself. Shizuo sighed, his mocha eyes lowered as he gently stroked the ridge of Izaya's foot. Like the rest of his skin, it was smooth and pale, the raven's leg twitching faintly under the touch, mumbling and shifting around.   
Shizuo wanted him for a bit, his hand drifting up to rest on Izaya's thigh, thumb idly rubbing the rough denim beneath his fingers, eyes lowered.   
It startled him a little, however, when Izaya winced and hissed, stirring. Shizuo frowned cautiously, though he left his hand where it was, Izaya blinking open slightly dulled wine eyes. "Eh..? Did I fall asleep?" He mumbled, Shizuo nodding faintly, frown still in place.  
"You good over there? You look pissed" the raven commented, looking over at Shizuo.   
The blond swallowed, ready for any backlash as he roughly squeezed Izaya's thigh.   
The raven reacted instantly, hissing and flinching in pain, reaching and smacking Shizuo's hand away. Shizuo swallowed thickly. "What happened to your thigh?" he asked cautiously, hoping it wasn't what he thought it was. He hadn't touched Izaya in almost a week and likewise, the raven hadn't revealed his body to him in the same amount of time. "Probably just some bruises from your monstrous strength when you grab me while you're fucking me" the raven dismissed and Shizuo swallowed again.   
"Dont lie to me."  
"Who says Im lying?" Izaya's voice took on a defensive tone and Shizuo's heart plummeted.   
"Izaya... You and I both know I dont grab your thighs."  
"How would you know? You're always just focused on fucking me like an animal you probably dont know what damage you do" Izaya scoffed and Shizuo felt his chest tighten. "I dont even know why I let you do it! God you're a monster even in bed! We're like casual fuck buddies, I refuse to be treated like a Shinjuku Station whore."

  
"Then I wont do it anymore."  
Izaya blinked and looked over at Shizuo at the comment, seeing no trace of mocking or lie in his eyes. He frowned.   
"Well I mean... Its not like I _hate_ it... Im just saying, we're enemies, it makes no sense for us to fuck like we're a couple."  
"Then stop being my enemy."  
Izaya once again looked up at the blond, brow furrowed.   
"Excuse me?"  
"I dont hate you, Izaya."  
Izaya laughed.   
"Very funny protozoan, are you really pretending to like me just for my ass? That's low even for yo---!"  
Shizuo had had enough, grabbing Izaya's thigh harder than necessary, he pulled himself to the flea, pressing his lips to Izaya's, not missing how the raven's breath hitched. Izaya didnt last long however, soon biting down harshly on Shizuo's tongue so the other could taste blood, Shizuo leaning away with a hiss. "The fuck was that for?!"  
"Get your damn hand of me!" Izaya snapped, once again smacking Shizuo's hand off his thigh, panting faintly.   
Shizuo's eyes widened when his hand was moved away, the pant leg of Izaya's jeans growing darker with wetness, Shizuo slowly looking at his hand to find it smudged red with blood.   
"Izaya you..."  
"Damn protozoan!" Izaya muttered, stumbling to stand only to winced when his leg got caught in the blanket, falling forward into Shizuo's arms. The blond grabbed his wrist tightly and Izaya hissed. "Let me go you monster!"  
"No fucking way! Show me your damn leg!"  
"If I will will you back the fuck off?!"  
"That depends on what I see now doesn't it?" Shizuo hissed, both of them staring into each other eyes with a fire of defiance. It only lasted a moment before Izaya smacked his lips.   
"Fucking fine" he muttered, sitting down and unbuttoning his jeans, slowly peeling them down his legs, hissing when the fabric dragged over his thigh.   
Shizuo's eyes widened at what he saw and his breath caught in his throat. Several deep lacerations on his left thigh, clearly self inflicted, bubbling with fresh blood and dripping down his thigh.   
"Izaya..." Shizuo only barely managed to choke out the word. "What the fuck is this..?" He could'nt manage anything louder than a whisper.   
"Just bleeding the devil out of my soul, Shizu-Chan." Izaya responded hotly, feeling oddly exposed under Shizuo's eyes.   
"You wouldn't have any soul left..." Shizuo whispered, hating the way his heart clenched at seeing Izaya in pain. He swallowed and sprinted to the kitchen, withdrawing the first aid kit that was practically untouched since Shinra existed and was so close by.   
He grabbed the box and ran back over to Izaya, kneeling in front of him, opening it.   
"What the fuck are you doing?"  
"Dressing your wounds, obviously."  
"Eeeh~? The monster knows first aid? that's a surprise~"  
Shizuo said nothing, cleanign off the blood and attempting to wrap the wound, his hands shaking violently.   
Izaya blinked and watched Shizuo, only able to see his shaking hands and the top of his hair from his vantage point. It made him beyond uncomfortable.   
"Hey..." Izaya's voice was void of any teasing or mocking for once, his hand drifting down to rest over Shizuo's, his brow furrowed. "Calm down.. It doesn't hurt yknow, Im okay."  
"You're not fucking okay, Izaya!"  
Izaya jumped at the outburst and looked at where Shizuo had shot to his feet, fists clenched and shaking in rage.   
For the first time in a while, Izaya was scared for his wellbeing.   
"You dont get it!" Shizuo trembled, head down. "God why cant you understand that you're fucking important!"  
"Important?" Izaya scoffed. "Look my god complex runs deep, but even I know that I'm not a very useful god."  
"Shut the fuck up! God you're so fucking conceited and I hate it!" Shizuo yelled, his shaking only getting worse.

  
"Sometimes I just wanna shove your fucking head through the damn wall you're so stupid! You call me the protozoan but have you taken a fucking look at yourself?! Do you even realize how important you are to people?!"  
Izaya stayed quiet. It wasn't unusual for Shizuo to get mad at him, but this was the first time he was getting mad for him.   
"You're important to Shinra! You're his friend you fucking moron! You're Celty's friend too! And what about you're job?! Shiki needs your dumb ass for some reason! And your sisters! They need your bitch ass!" He growled, gripping Izaya's collar, the raven's wine eyes wide.   
"And what about me you fucking fleabag?! I need you! I need you fucking around in Ikebukuro! I need you in my life! I need you in my house! I need you wearing my clothes and eating breakfast with me! I need you to be with me!"  
Izaya's eyes widened further, his breath hitching.   
"I fucking need you Izaya! I need you to stop..." His voice dropped to a whimper, head dropping and hands shaking against Izaya's collar, the raven laughing weakly.   
"That sounds kinda like a proposal."


	9. Chapter 9: Out Of The Frying Pan Into The Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used Hiroshi for Nakura's first name as a play on Izaya's Japanese seiyuu, Hiroshi Kamiya (神谷博史様) Aka my seiyuu god.

Chapter 9: Out Of The Frying Pan Into The Fire  
  


"Shut the fuck up, flea..." Shizuo whispered, pushing Izaya back down to sit, fixing the bandages.   
"Did you mean what you said?" Izaya mumbled after a moment, Shizuo blinking and looking up at him as he secured the bandages, meeting lowered burgandy eyes.   
"So what if I did?"  
"I thought I might take you up on your offer" Izaya murmured, his hand running through Shizuo's dyed blond hair. "At my house of course, your house is tiny and it kinda sucks."  
"Izaya are you asking me to move in with you?" Shizuo slowly rose an eyebrow.   
"You got a problem with that? Fine, stay in your shithole of a house then, dont bother."  
"Hey leave my house out of this I have a perfectly great little place."  
"Maybe you'd have a better place if you worked harder instead of occupying yourself with your usual frivolities."  
"Who causes those frivolities, you smug jackass? Need I remind you of the mud incident?"  
"You're still mad about it? I get it, 7 people were injured--"  
"12 people!"  
"Right, right, and really who's fault was that?"  
"Yours!"  
"That's right, no one's, now are you going to move out of this shithole and in with me or not?"  
"Are you shittalking my house?"  
  


After a few days of moving shit, Shizuo was finally settled at Izaya's house, the raven sitting at his desk when his phone started ringing for the 9th time that day.   
The overly busy raven growled, smashing the answer and speaker buttons, Shizuo hearing Shinra's voice from the couch.   
"Izaya! I think I did something bad!"  
"Does it affect me?"  
"No..?"  
"Then suffer in silence."  
The raven then hit the hang up button, Shizuo laughing faintly from the couch as he stood. "Im gonna head to Russia Sushi and grab some dinner, wanna come?"  
"Nah, I have a lot of shit to do, you go ahead" he sighed, multitasking between typing on his laptop with one hand and texting on his phone with his other. Shizuo nodded and yawned, slipping his shoes on and tapping the toe of one against the ground.   
"I'll be back soon" he yawned, waving behind him and walking out of the condo, going downstairs, eyes lowered.

Izaya pushed away from his desk with a faint sigh. He'd been researching for a client that he only knew by the name Shiro, trying to find where his wife had disappeared off to only to find that the woman was cheating on him with 3 other men. The raven yawned, brushing his hair back with a sigh, stretching.   
It was weird, living with Shizu-Chan.   
Just one month ago he was convinced that they were going to kill each other, and now they were living together and having casual sex every few days. They were far from a couple, but Izaya had never felt more committed.   
He sighed, shaking his head and grabbing his work phone from inside his desk, punching in his client's number.   
He picked up on the eighth ring.   
"Nakura, perfect timing."  
"Ah, Shiro-San, did I perhaps interrupt something?"  
"Have you done the job I asked you for?"  
Straight to business, Izaya bit back an irritated sigh.   
"I have, and as promised, I'll tell you once I see the payment reach my account."  
"I'll send it right now, please call me back when it hits."  
And just like that, the phone was hung up. Izaya poked out his tongue and scoffed, logging on to his bank account, waiting patiently for the digits to change.   
He hummed and smirked when the money came in.  
  
­­­­­­________________________________________________  
名倉博史様　　                   バランズ：円四十五万  
Nakura Hiroshi                   Balance: 円 450, 000

Make a transaction View banking details

________________________________________________

He hummed and sighed, punching in the client's name again, yawning. This time answered right away, barking out Izaya's alias name.   
"Your wife is cheating on you" Izaya said boredly, inspecting his nails. "With three other men, imagine that? I can't even find one man to satisfy me let alone three."  
 _You're such a liar._ Izaya's subconscious butted in and the informant smirked. Yes it was true, he was an utter, utter liar, but in his line of business, having anyone know that you have anyone close to you in any way was a target that Izaya didnt like having on his back.   
"She's what?! Who with?!" Shiro exploded, Izaya having to hold his phone away from his ear, rubbing the abused thing.   
He rolled his eyes and sighed, holding his phone back to his ear. "I'll send you the names and photographs of all the men she's been with as well as confirmation photos of them together."

  
"Good... I knew it was a good choice to go to you, Orihara-Kun."  
Izaya felt his whole body tighten at the call of his real name, his eyes narrowing.   
"Excuse me, Shiro-San I dont know who you're talking about, my name is Nakura." He couldn't help the slight venom in his voice and Shiro laughed faintly.   
"Of course, I'll be calling for you again in the future, Nakura."  
And with that, his client hung up.   
Izaya ground his teeth together, draining the faux Nakura account and putting all the money in his own account, leaning back and tapping his fingers on the desk. It wasn't often that he was found out and it stressed him out when he was. The raven nibbled on his thumbnail as the from door opened, Shizuo walking in with a takeout bag from Russia Sushi.   
"Look, Im glad that we decided to live in the Ikebukuro condo instead of your shitty Shinjuku one, but jesus its still so far away from literally everything in tihs city." The blond complained, blinking when he turned to Izaya.   
"You okay? You look pissed" he blinked.   
Izaya slammed his hands on the table, standing.  
"Shizu-Chan, fuck me."  
Shizuo, who had been peacefully getting a glass of water after the long walk, was unfortunately made to choke, splutter and cough on the liquid, eye wide and cheeks darkening.   
"What?!"  
"You heard me protozoan, now."  
"Izaya I--"  
"I wasn't kidding, hurry it up, chop chop."

Izaya woke up a few hours later, eyes lowered as he sat up. The bed was empty of Shizuo's warmth and there wasn't a single sound in the entire condo. He stretched out his still muscles, scratching his bare chest, wincing then he ran a hand over still healing bite marks. Looking around, he spotted a piece of paper from a notebook terribly torn out and left on the bedside table closest to Izaya, the raven blinked and reaching for it.   
He had to laugh at the hasy scribbles where Shizuo had been correcting himself on kanji and lettering, rolling his eyes.   
  
"F̶l̶e̶a̶ Izaya  
I've got work with Tom-San today.  
I should be home around... 10pm?  
10 or 11, not sure which, I'll text you when Im coming home.   
Either way, I'll see you later okay?  
\--Shizuo

Ah, shit I almost forgot  
When I get home, we need to talk.


	10. Chapter 10: All Things Done Willingly Are Easy

Chapter 10: All Things Done Willingly Are Easy  
  


Izaya stared at the note. "Need to talk."   
He felt a knot twisting in his stomach. Was Shizuo going to leave him? Wait, what relationship did they even have?   
Could you even leave being an enemy?  
Was Shizuo even still his enemy?  
The raven sighed, slipping out of bed and putting the letter on the bed as he got dressed into his usual long sleeved black gettup minus the jacket. He sighed, picking the letter up again, biting his lip and mulling over it, fingers tracing the mistakes in the kanji, a few having too many lines or too few. He heard the front door open and froze.   
"He said he wouldn't be back until late..." He mumbled, reaching for his phone, his glowing screen alerting him that it was only 9:30pm.   
Izaya was unprepared to face what 'we need to talk' meant.   
So, he stayed with his back to the door, gripping the letter tighter than necessary. When he heard footsteps and the bedroom door opening, he swallowed his panic. "You're home early, I only just read your letter."  
Shizuo said nothing, simply walking up behind Izaya, arms winding around the raven's waist, one hand going up his shirt, the other going to his mouth. Izaya's breath hitched, feeling fingers at his mouth, eyes hazing and lips parting as he let the invaders in.   
"Shizu-Chan..." he murmured, body jolting at a pinch to his nipples.   
  
Though something felt off, the hand on his chest was too small, not calloused enough, the fingers in his mouth not wide enough to be Shizuo's.   
"Shizu-Chan huh?" The voice was familiar and it irked Izaya that he couldn't place it. Izaya snapped into action, biting down harshly on the fingers in his mouth, earning a hiss as the figure pulled his hand away only to grab the raven's jaw. Izaya's eyes shot wide when the hand reached down for his belt, trying to unbuckle it.   
_If I could get away from Shizu-Chan in a weak ass alleyway I can get away from this creep._ Izaya hissed to himself, turning his body sharply to see the person, eyes widening when he saw silver hair.   
"Shinichi?" he managed to breathe out, Tsukumoya kicking Izaya's legs out from under him, the raven falling to the bed with a cry of pain when his leg protested at the position and the harsh kick. He rolled his ankle once, twice before a sharp cry was wretched from his throat.  
  
 _Fuck... There's no way that's not broken..._   
Izaya's body quivered as he tried to recover from the sharp pain in his leg, Tsukumoya gripping his hair. "Not this time, Orihara" he hissed, yanking the male's head up, swinging and slamming Izaya's face against the headboard as hard as he could. He did this several times until the raven's left eyebrow felt like it was on the wrong side of his face, his eye felt like it was already swelling and he could feel blood dripping from his nose and from between his teeth.   
Izaya, while used to violence, was not however used to being hit in the face. He managed to keep a grip on his conscious while Tsukumoya threw his limp body over his shoulder, stalking out of the condo and slamming the door. Izaya's head was swimming. his vision blurring in and out as Tsukumoya walked out into the rain, a van parked a few blocks away.   
  
_Am I really being kidnapped right now..? God Im so fucking pathetic if something like this can beat me..._  
He vaguely heard the rumble of a motorbike and his head instantly went to Celty. Maybe she'd seen what had happened and was coming to help him? Or maybe it was just one of the members of the Dragon Zombies prowling around. Either way, Izaya didn't hold out much hope. He was ready to succumb to the darkness at the edge of his vision, begging and pleading in his mind that Shizuo would come home early and save him.  
His answering plea, however was a sound not unlike what a nerf whistler made when it was thrown, that and the sound of metal clinking on the ground before the van that was barely 5 feet away from Izaya went up in flames with the biggest boom he'd ever heard. This was paired with a bright light that made Izaya have to close his eyes to avoid the sting in the back of his eyelids when he saw it.   
  
_A flash grenade..?_   
Tsukumoya however didnt get the chance to cover his eyes, the bang and the light overloading his senses. The man dropped Izaya to the wet, hard concrete before he himself dropped, passed out from the sense overload. Izaya let out a painful sounding cough and gritted his teeth together.   
He wiggled best he could at the sight of headlights, dragging himself across the ground, half to get away from Tsukumoya, half to get to the motorbike that was parked a few feet away. He grunted and winced as his now-blunted nails dragged across the pavement. He felt blood pouring from the nailbeds with how harshly he was clawing at the ground. The motorcyclist slowly got off the bike, black shoes walking towards him.   
"Cel... ty..." He managed to choke out, wincing and trying to get up only so fall into delicate, woman's hands.   
_Wait..._ Izaya's subconscious pursed his lips. _Headlights... Celty's bike doesn't have headlights, that's why Kuzuhara Kinnosuke always targets her... Then who..?_  
Izaya didn't get a chance to lift his head to see his savior, the darkness enveloping him as he collapsed into the soft breasts of his savior.

 _"-------nks for calling me."_  
 _"I found him outside wit------ haired man, he looked like the targe----"_  
 _"Thanks agai---na, I really apprecia---"_  
  
Izaya barely managed to unstick his eyelids, wincing when he opened them. He looked up to an eggshell painted ceiling, the room spinning slightly. He grunted and groaned louder than he'd meant to, a flash of bright yellow by his eyes and a warm, large hand pressing to his cheek. "Izaya, oi Izaya you with me?"  
"Shizu-Chan..." He murmured, eyes lowered. He felt the heavy weight of a cast on his left leg, wincing. "Help me up..." He murmured, Shizuo assisting the raven in sitting up in bed. Izaya rubbed his eyes and sighed, looking around to find that he was in his own bedroom, Shizuo at a seat by his bed and another blond sitting at the foot of his bed. His eyes trailed the woman, her long blond hair and sour looking face down to her tight motocyclist outfit and her black boots.   
"Varona Douglanikov..." He sounded surprised. "You're the one that saved me?"  
"I neglect that statement" Varona turned her head away and stood up. "I had no pure intentions of self sacrifice to save you, I was merely repaying a debt to Shizuo-Senpai."  
"Well I was going to thank you but it you're going to be like that forget it" he scoffed, head jerking up when the bedroom door opened and Namie walked in with a tray of soup and a coffee.   
  
"Namie" now this was an even bigger surprise. "I thought I gave you a few weeks leave."  
"You did" Namie hummed, coming over and putting the tray roughly on Izaya's lap, making sure to jar his leg and make him wince, a sickly sweet smile on her face. "I heard you got hurt and I wanted to see you in pain, so here I am."  
"You really do have a twisted way of showing concern there, Namie" Izaya said wryly, hissing through his teeth in the pain to his broken ankle. "  
"Me? Concerned for a piece of shit like you? Keep dreaming" she scoffed, straightening back up, Shizuo standing.   
"What the fuck's your problem, lady?"  
Izaya's eyebrows shot up. "Shizu-Chan this is just how we talk to each other" he tried, Shizuo holding up a hand.  
"She's treating you like trash, Izaya and I wont stand for it" he hissed, looking back at a rather shocked Namie.   
"The monster of Ikebukuro? Standing up for Izaya Orihara? Am I having a stroke right now?" She looked between the two before she started laughing. "God this is hilarious! You two are acting like an old married couple, its pathetic! You really do stoop low, Izaya! Pathetic! You call yourself a god but you're just a child!" Izaya flinched at the hit to his ego, Shizuo stepping forward, towards her.   
Varona reached out a hand to stop him, though when Shizuo held up a hand she quickly dropped hers, walking straight up to the still laughing Namie. She stopped however when she looked up at the blond, who's mocha eyes were positively furious. Her smile fell to a scowl and she crossed her arms. "What, you have a problem with me?"  
"Several." Shizuo hissed through his teeth, reaching out and gripping Namie's wrist, the woman instantly yelping and wincing. "I dont ever want to see you around Izaya ever again, you fucking harpy. I wont tolerate you making him feel like shit and I wont tolerate you insulting me either." He gripped her wrist tighter, feeling the bone bending.   
  
Namie felt it too, judging on the cry that wrenched from her throat.   
"Im sure you know what will happen if you dont listen to me, you're a smart lady. You know they call me the Fortissimo of Ikebukuro for a reason." He spat, letting Namie go, the woman buckling and panting, holding her rapidly bruising wrist.  
"Now get the fuck out of our house, bitch." He snapped, Namie shooting a glare at everyone in the room before she stood, running from the room, high heels clacking as she disappeared.   
"Shizu-Chan... Your arm..." Izaya murmured for lack of better thing to say, pointing to where Namie had stabbe Shizuo's forearm with a scalpel. The blond just blinked.   
"Oh, I didnt even notice" he murmured, yanking the bloody scalpel out.   
Varona sighed and shook his head. "Well I have other jobs to do, Shizuo-Senpai please call me if you require further assistance." She hummed, grabbing her helmet from off the floor, Shizuo smiling warmly at her.   
"Yeah, thanks again."  
He waved to her as the blond drove away, sighing and heading back into Izaya's room, the raven staring at him.  
"Shizu-Chan." He piped up before Shizuo could ask if he was okay.   
"I think I might like you."  
"... What?"


	11. Chapter 11: Hate The Sin But Love The Sinner

Chapter 11: Hate The Sin But Love The Sinner

  
"You're fucking with me, right flea?" Shizuo narrowed his eyes, waiting for Izaya to give him finger guns and grin at him cheekily.   
Though there were no finger guns, no cheeky grin, no trace of lying in his face.   
"You heard me. Im always serious, Shizuo."   
Shizu's gut curled at Izaya saying his real name. He couldn't tell if it was disturbing or hot.   
"Izaya I swear to god if you're just playing around---"  
"I swear." Izaya sighed. "I swear Im not just fucking with you, Im very serious."  
"So.. What exactly do you want me to do about that?" Shizuo's brow furrowed.   
  
"Fuck me."  
"We do that anyways, feelings for me or not."  
"Fuck me with feelings."  
"Are you asking for porn with plot?"  
"Yes?"  
"Izaya, we're not a fanfiction tag, Jesus Christ."  
"If we were I bet it'd be hilarious."  
Shizuo deadpanned at Izaya. "Besides, you're injured dickhead."  
"Its just a broken ankle, it'll be fine."  
"Broken? Your ankle isn't broken, Izaya" Shizuo rolled his eyes, the raven staring at him in pure confusion. "Its just a sprain."  
"Then what's with the cast?"  
"You dont have a cast on" the blond pulling back the sheets covering Izaya, his left leg merely bandaged up tightly. Izaya blinked down at it.  
"I could've sworn I felt a cast on..."  
"Your leg prolly went numb from the pain or something, drama queen" Shizuo rolled his eyes and a cheeky grin found its way onto Izaya's face.  
"Then that's even better, we can fuck with even less repurcussions."  
"Izaya, ankle or not, you still have a broken eyebrow bone and a severe concussion" the bartender frowned, Izaya waving a hand in dismissal.   
"Details, details, now are you going to fuck me or do I have to do it myself?"  
  
"Are you replacing me with gratification from your hand?"  
"Oh my Shizu-Chan, that's a big word for you."  
"I-Za---"  
"I-Za-Ya-Kun~" Izaya mimmicked, rolling his eyes and leaning half off the bed, digging around for a bit before he pulling out a shoebox, setting it on the bed.  
"What's in there?" Shizuo blinked and Izaya's grin reminded him strongly of a kitsune demon.  
"Ah~ Are you curious?" He grinned, Shizuo feeling heat climbing up his neck.   
"A little..." He murmured, stepping closer as Izaya opened the box, an assortment of colourful things inside. Shizuo blinked, finding himself sitting on the bed. "What is all this stuff..?" he murmured to himself mostly, Izaya smirking. "You wanna try some of them out? I'll let you test them out of me~" Izaya was practically purring, eyes lowering as Shizuo shifted through the box.   
  
Izaya hummed, simply grabbing and flipping the box, the toys and packets of lube spilling out onto the bed, making the blond jump slightly.   
Shizuo swallowed the lump of desire that filled his throat, fingers running over silver and leather handcuffs, a long string of anal beads that looked particularly interesting to him, a few phallic shaped silicone pieces, smaller egg shaped vibrators, a cylindrical shape with a small switch on the base, nipple clamps (okay, Izaya forgot he even had those) and several other colourful dildos as well as a packet of toy wipes and a box of condoms that almost made Shizuo laugh out loud, considering how many times Izaya's told him _not_ to wear one.   
Izaya wiggled his hips a little, nibbling his lip. "See something you like?" He purred, eyes lowered. "Oh yeah, before I forget I bought a new one too, I haven't tested that one yet though..."  
  
Shizuo blinked, watching the raven hobble to his closet, pulling out a shipment box and going back to the bed, opening it up with a cheeky grin, pulling out the long and wide vibrator.   
"Tada~ I got it made the exact same size as your cock~!"  
"What the... When did you measure my dick?!"  
"That much isn't important" the informant mused, waving a hand.   
"So... What exactly are you planning on doing with that thing?" Shizuo asked cautiously, Izaya blinking a few times before looking down at the toy and back up at Shizuo.   
"Does Shizu-Chan wanna try it out?"  
"No way you're putting that thing inside me!"  
"Mmm stingy~ Then I might just try it out~ See how easy it is to use after all~"  
"... Are you being serious?"  
Izaya blinked before he gave a grin. "How perverted Shizu-Chan, are you that interested in seeing me masturbate?"  
Shizuo's eyes darkened, grabbing the toy out of Izaya's hand and tossing it somewhere he could'nt care about, smashing his lips to Izaya's.   
The raven groaned against the chapped lips, climbing onto Shizuo's lap, pressing their crotches together.   
Shizuo groaned and bit Izaya's bottom lip, pulling back with a smirk. "Since you offered, I'll be sure to play with you, all night" he purred, Izaya shivering in delight.

It only took a moment for Izaya to bed butt naked on the bed, his hands bound behind him with tight leather straps, thighs pressed together and cheeks dark, a blindfold covering his eyes.   
"I-Isn't this a little excessive?" Izaya managed, his throat feeling quite dry. Shizuo simply chuckled and returned to his Satanic circle of sex toys, humming faintly as he looked through them, spying Izaya's ipod on the bedside table, a wicked grin on his face.   
"Hey Izaya~?" he mused, walking over and picking it and the pair of connected black headphones up. "What's your favourite track on your ipod?"  
"H-Huh..? Track 7*, why..?" Izaya swallowed thickly, utterly confused. Shizuo hummed and scrolled through the music, clicking on track 7 and putting it on repeat, turning it up as loud as he could without hurting Izaya's ears, gently settling the headphones over Izaya's inky hair. The raven jumped and blinked behind the blindfold, head whipping around, his voice coming out louder now that he couldn't hear Shizuo.   
"Sh-Shizu-Chan? What are you planning..?"  
  
Shizuo just smirked at his bound lover, pushing the raven onto his knees and pushing the small of his back, Izaya yelping and falling onto his face, ass in the air, cheeks dark. Izaya swallowed, trying to focus on the lyrics to the song, not the slight shuffling of Shizuo in the background.   
When he felt a cold, slick finger at his ass, he jumped and jerked, eyes flying wide behind the blindfold. He choked out a moan when the finger breached and slipped inside him, a shiver running down his spine at how long Shizuo's fingers were. Shizuo hummed, multitasking between opening Izaya up and rolling the anal beads in his hand, coating the first few in lube. He revelled in Izaya's moan when he pressed a second then a third finger inside the other boy, moving them steadily, Izaya scratching at the leather cuffs.   
The nipple clamps were the first things applied to his body, the raven jolting at the pressure to the sensitive nubs before mewling under his breath, pushing his hips back onto Shizuo's fingers. The blond smirked and slowly withdrew his fingers, pressing the first ball to the puckered entrance. Izaya shuddered, gasping when the first ball slid inside him rather easily, Shizuo leaning in close and pulling the headphone away from Izaya's ear for a moment.   
"Count with me babe" he purred, nibbling the lobe before placing the headphone back where it was.   
"O... One..." Izaya managed, panting.   
  
Shizuo smirked, rubbing the pale asscheek below his hand, slipping the balls in one at a time.   
The first 5 were easily sucked in. The 6th and 7th were tricky, but with a little persistance were inserted. Izaya's mouth was open at this point, breathing harshly.   
By the 8th, Shizuo pushed it in, Izaya letting out a faint cry when it nudged the other balls and rolled them inside him. His head dropped and his body shuddered, Shizuo smirking at him before pushing his finger in after the ball, prompting him to get back on track.   
"E... Eight..." He choked out, voice hoarse.  
"Ah! N-N-Nine..." Izaya's jaw fell open, panting harshly.   
Shizuo shivered, his pants becomming uncomfortably tight, pushing the last ball in with a short cry from Izaya.   
"T-Ten!"  
The boy's pale thighs quivered, panting harshly. Shizuo shivered, looking at the ring dangling from Izaya's twitching hole, the blond shivering and pulling back his hand, smacking Izaya's ass hard.   
  
A faint splatter caught his attention, Izaya panting harshly and moaning on his exhale, white dripping from his stomach. Shizuo groaned and smirked, tugging the ring faintly, Izaya letting out a cry as the balls rolled around inside him.   
"You look so good like this..." Shizuo purred, leaning over to press small kisses to Izaya's back, feeling the pale skin quiver beneath him. "Its hot..." He licked his lips, pulling the ring to jostle the beads once more, Izaya's eyes rolling back behind the blindfold as the toys rolled along all the right sensitive spots.   
Shizuo shivered, reaching around and yanking the nipple clamps off, Izaya shouting out as he came a second time, a shudder running through his body, gripping at the leather of the cuffs.   
"Shizu-Chan... Shizu-Chan..." he moaned out like a mantra, jaw hanging open.   
Shizuo cursed under his breath, his hands running over Izaya's back, rolling the balls with the loop once more.   
"God fuck me already!" Izaya cried, body shaking.   
It felt good, better than good, amazing, sensational, so beyond erotic that he could barely stand it, but at the same time it was frustrating, he wanted Shizuo inside him, not a stupid toy!  
  
Shizuo seemed to catch the drift, shuffling back on the bed and getting a firm grip on the loop, yanking all 10 of the beads out at once like he was pulling the cord to start a lawn mower.   
"Shizu-Chan ple----AAHHHH! Oh god yes fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!" Izaya trembled and bucked violently when the toy was removed, feeling his exhausted cock spurt out another few ropes of cum, body shaking.   
"God fuck me... Please Shizu-Chan..."  
Hearing the informant of Shinjuku begging was a rare sight that Shizuo relished in, kicking off his pants and pressing against Izaya's now gaping open hole.  
"Beg me again" he purred.  
"Shizu-Chan..."  
"My name, Orihara-Kun." he demanded, giving Izaya's ass a quick smack.   
"Shizuo! God please fuck me Shizuo!" He cried, head dropping with what sounded more like a scream when Shizuo pushed into him, providing him with that full heat he'd wanted since they started.   
"Fuck!" Izaya shouted, head shooting back, Shizuo gripping Izaya's inky locks with a smirk, ramming into that tight heat again and again.   
the informant gripped the sheets tighter and tighter before his body clamped down around the blond as more inhumanely loud screams escaped from those pouty, swollen lips.  
  
“Ohhhhh fuck fuck fuck!!! Yes, yes!! Feels so good...oh my god, so good-!!!” He barely got the words out, his body convulsing and shuddering with a dry orgasm, sucking Shizuo in until he couldn't take it, slamming forward deep into Izaya, emptying all he was worth into the trembling informant.  
Shizuo shuddered and panted, pulling himself out of Izaya, the raven dropping limply to the bed. The blond licked his lips, watching the white trickle down the backs of Izaya's thighs, having half the mind to take him again.   
Instead he shivered, tossing the toys back at the box, uncuffing Izaya and taking off the blindfold and headphones, pausing the music. Izaya had already passed out from the over stimulation, breathing slowly going back to normal. Shizuo snickered, cleaning off the toys and kicking the box back under the bed, lying beside Izaya after checking that his bandages were okay. He purred, nuzzling up close to Izaya, letting sleep claim him.  
  


 _A few days later (omake type thing)_  
Izaya stormed into the bedroom where Shizuo was doing a crossword boredly, throwing his headphones at the blond. Shizuo jumped and blinked, looking up at him.   
"Oh, you're home."  
"This is all your fault!"  
"What is?"  
"Because of you and your pervert games, I popped a boner on the way home listening to Track 7!"  
Shizuo couldn't help the grin that stretched on his face. "So the plan worked..."  
"You jackass! Since this is utterly your fault, you have to take care of this!" The raven scoffed, tossing the crossword book aside, climbing into Shizuo's lap.   
Shizuo, however, just grinned.  
"Gladly~"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Izaya's Track 7: Gives You Hell by All American Rejects


	12. Chapter 12: Looking For Hen's Teeth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im not sure why but I got amazing writers block so getting this chapter out was... Difficult

  
Chapter 12: Looking For Hen's Teeth

"What the fuck am I looking at right now?" Shizuo spat, eyes narrowed at a certain raven haired woman in green sitting at the desk adjacent to Izaya's.   
Namie deadpanned and looked up at him, Izaya rolling his eyes. "She's still my secretary, Shizu-Chan" he mused, typing away at his computer.   
"I dont fucking like her" the bartender sneered, Namie flipping her hair "she insults you, Izaya."  
Izaya merely blinked and nodded. "Yes, she does, and I insult her, its kinda how we talk to each other" he shrugged, a wry smirk on Namie's face that rivalled her boss'.   
"Exactly brute, so either shut your monstrous trap or get out" she hummed, turning back to her laptop.   
Shizuo felt his eye twitch and he stalked up to Namie's desk, feeling irritation bubble up inside him, once again the woman was rivalling her boss in how quickly she could piss off Shizuo.   
His irritation was suddenly sapped from him when he heard Izaya's phone ringing, the raven sighing and digging through his desk drawer, picking it up and answering.   
"Shiro-San" he hummed, pushing himself away from the desk and standing. Shizuo blinked, tilting his head as the raven sighing, rolling his eyes. "You know my policy, 100% cancellation fee" he hummed, examining his pointy little nails. "Ah well you see that much isn't my problem, you knew the concequences before coming to me" he mused.   
Shizuo rolled his eyes, even with Izaya's back to him he could hear the smirk in his voice.   
"Shiro-San." All of a sudden his voice dropped and it made Shizuo almost jump with the burning intensity in his tone. The air suddenly got thick with tension, Izaya casting Namie a look. The woman nodded and brought up a runbox on her laptop, typing in a few things before putting on a pair of headphones, giving Izaya a thumbs up.   
"Mr. Orihara." The voice came out of both Izaya's cellphone and the speaker for Namie's laptop. "Im sure you wouldn't want anything... unsavoury to happen in the near future, you're a bright man after all" Shizuo's brow furrowed, listening to the man threaten Izaya, though the raven himself looked almost bored.   
"So why dont you just cancel my request with no charge hmm? And we can forget all about this~" The man's tone took on a sultry edge and Izaya shuddered.   
"No can do, Shiro-San" the raven hummed back. "100% cancellation fee, you know this. I'll expect the money by tomorrow afternoon" he hummed, clicking the end call button with a disgusted face. "Namie, what'd you get?"  
Namie clacked at her keyboard for a bit and beckoned Izaya over, Shizuo blinking and looking at the screen as well.

  
_______________________________________________  
鈴木白様  
Shiro Suzuki 「Photo attached」  
Family: - Ex wife Nagisa Suzuki  
\- One son: Takuya Suzuki  
Possible scandals: 「17 Photos attached」  
Bribary scams: 「137 Photo attached」  
______________________________________________

  
"Jesus Christ you work fast" Shizuo muttered to Namie, who just gave a smug smile.   
"Print them out, I want every available thing at my disposal by 7pm" Izaya ordered, eyes narrowed as he grabbed his jacket. Shizuo frowned and grabbed Izaya's wrist while he was passing.   
"Woah you're unusually serious, is something wrong?"  
"Aside from the fact that an unknown person knows my real name?" Izaya frowned.  
"I thought you give out your name all the time?" Shizuo rose an eyebrow.  
"I do, but not to clients like these that can be considered 'dangerous'" he sighed, putting up air quotations.   
"So what are you going to do now?" Shizuo frowned.  
"Find the asshole that gave Shiro my real name, clearly" Izaya snorted.   
"I can help."  
"What, by throwing a vending machine at them? Sorry Shizu-Chan but I can handle this myself" he sighed, side stepping the blond and leaving before Shizuo could utter another word.   
Shizuo frowned, sitting on the couch and sighing, shaking his head. He got so comfortable with the silence that when Namie spoke it almost made him jump.   
"You think he's invincible, dont you?" She didnt look up from clacking away on her laptop, though Shizuo looked over at her with a raised eyebrow.   
"What do you mean?"  
This made her look up, a sigh leaving her lips. "Heiwajima Shizuo, he is not made of glass" she wheeled around to face him, arms crossing over her chest and a frown in place. "But at the same time, he's not made of steel."   
Shizuo's frown furrowed, trying to make sense of her weird analogies. Namie's brown eyes lowered down to look at her lap, a heavy sigh dropping her shoulders.   
"Izaya... He isn't as strong as you think he is. Its like he's made of paper, like you can pull with all your might one way and never tear him... But if you hold him a certain way, he crumbles and rips."  
"And what does this have to do with me?" Shizuo frowned.   
"I dont like you. I dont like the way you two fight each other and I dont like the way he comes back... Ripped."

  
"Ripped?"  
Namie seemed to have snapped after that, standing and slamming her hand down onto the wood of her table, teeth bared. "Of course you wouldn't get it! You haven't seen the way he comes home after being in Ikebukuro! The bruises on his body, the cracked ribs, the broken bones! You haven't seen any of that have you?!" She snapped, panting, eye narrowed.   
"I..." Shizuo blinked. He had never seen a woman as fearful since Varona tried to kill him back on the fields of Raira in 2015 during the fight with Toramaru.   
"I've had to fix him up countless times! I've had to pop bones back into place, I've had to wrap up cut after cut because of you!" She pointed acusingly at Shizuo, an unknown emotion flashing in her eyes.   
"I wont let you hurt him anymore! He's the closest thing to a friend that I have!"   
Shizuo swallowed the lump in his throat.  
He'd always thought of Izaya as indestructable, though undressing Izaya, seeing the damage that he had inflicted was unsettling, the bruises that littered Izaya's arms and chest when he wasn't quick enough to dodge, cuts on his arm that were inflicted by himself. He couldn't imagine what Izaya's mind was like, what did he think about when they'd fight? Was he afraid? Did he feel like his life was being threatened?   
_Did Shizuo scare him?_  
"I..." Shizuo's voice was choked out, his eyes wide. Namie was worried. He could understand that, he understood why she was trying to protect Izaya.   
But was Shizuo really... Dangerous?  
Staring into Namie's cold eyes for a few more moments it hit him and his breath exited him in a choked half sob. His head dropped limply like he couldn't keep it up anymore.

  
His mind flashed to all the times Izaya had been impacted by something he'd thrown. He thought about how many bruises or broken bones Izaya would have gotten from being hit with them, how many aches and pains he would have gotten. How long would it take for Izaya to recover from things like that..?  
Was it really such a good idea for he and Izaya to be living together? With Shizuo's temper?  
"Im back" Izaya's voice sighed, the raven coming into the apartment and blinking at the tense atmosphere. "Jesus you two look pretty viscious" he scoffed, Shizuo's hands shaking as he looked over at the raven.   
Izaya looked the blond in the eye and frowned, an uncomfortable feeling curling in his stomach. "Shizu-Chan..?" He asked cautiously, brow furrowing, not taking his eyes away from the fear in those honey brown orbs.   
"Namie, you're done for the day" he frowned, taking off his jacket and walking over to the desk, draping it over the chair, Namie watching him.  
"Are you sure?" She frowned.   
"Positive, I'll see you tomorrow."  
"Are you alright?" Concern laced her voice and she walked over, her hand on Izaya's shoulder. The raven sighed and nodded, smiling faintly and placing his hand gently over her's, moving it away from him.   
"Better than ever, thanks, Namie" he smiled, Namie sighing and smiling faintly, nodding and gathering her things before leaving, shutting the door after herself.   
"What did she say to you?" Izaya frowned moving a few steps closer to Shizuo, eyes widening when Shizuo jumped up, eyes wide and hands shaking. "Woah Shizu-Chan... You okay?" Izaya felt his throat dry up and swallowed on reflex, hands up slightly. Shizuo swallowed and shook his head, eyes wide.   
"Do you hate me..?" His voice was only barely audible and Izaya almost had to strain his ears to hear him. When he pondered the words enough his brow furrowed.   
"What?"  
"I... Im a monster Izaya... You were right this entire time I..." Shizuo swallowed thickly, staring at his shaking hands. "I destroy things, I've hurt you so many times I can't count... I..."  
Izaya stared at him dumbfounded. "What..? Shizu-Chan are you sleep deprived or something..?" He couldn't seem to find the right words, brow furrowed. Was Shizuo drunk? He'd never admit that Izaya was right in any aspect, especially not in a situation like this. Izaya frowned and stepped forward, only for mocha to shoot up and widen, stepping back.   
"Dont come near me..." Shizuo breathed, voice trembling. "Im dangerous..."  
"You're not dangerous..." Izaya sighed, frowning at him. "You're just Shizu-Chan."  
"Im a monster..." Shizuo covered his face with his hands, his hands shaking so violently that Izaya could still see half of his face in flickers when his fingers trembled.   
"You're my monster" Izaya's voice took on a much softer pitch, frowning sympathetically. "I dont know what Namie told you, but Im not afraid of you, Shizu-Chan." He sighed, crossing his arms and scoffing.   
"Honestly! You think I'd harrass you this much if I was scared? You think that I'd stay under the same roof as someone I was afraid of? Are you really that stupid? I mean I knew you were a protozoan but Jesus!"  
He watched Shizuo's eyes widen slightly, gauging his reaction in case he struck a nerve. Human observation always was a hobby of his after all, and even if he didnt see Shizuo as a 'human' persay, he knew he had the same reactions as everyone else.   
Shizuo opened his mouth to respond but Izaya just put up a hand to shush him.   
"God you're a moron, honestly" he sighed. "I haven't ever feared for my life when Im around you, I know you and how you function" he crossed his arms, frowning and levelling Shizuo's gaze with his own, waiting for the blond to respond.

  
The moment Shizuo's mouth opened, there was the sound of rushing air and a tinkle like two metal rings hitting each other followed by the scraping sounds of shattered glass rubbing on glass.   
Izaya's wine eyes slowly widened.   
The world stopped spinning, his chest tightened and his vision blurred at the edges. All he could see was Shizuo, the blond bartender staring at him with wide eyes, his hands up and shaking.   
"Izaya!" he knew it was a shout by the way Shizuo's face morphed and his jaw dropped in the syllables, but he could barely hear. It was almost like he was underwater.   
His body felt cold, all apart from the burning, searing pain tearing through his side. He could feel his body shaking and confulsing as the world twisted and spun 90 degrees.   
Izaya toppled to the side, eyes still wide in shock as blood pooled below him, Shizuo's breathing shuddering, eyes wide as he sprinted over to Izaya, propping his head up. "Izaya! Izaya! Stay awake you fucking flea!" He managed, calling Izaya's name again, tone getting gradually more and more deperate.   
_Ah... It seems I've been shot.._. Izaya's foggy mind managed to piece together, his vision getting hazy as he managed to look up at a panicked Shizuo, who was holding him with one arm easily, yelling at presumably Shinra on the phone in his other hand.   
_So strong... That's my monster..._   
After that single thought, Izaya's mind went blank and his vision went black. 


	13. Chapter 13: It Never Rains But It Pours (Shizuo's POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes yes, Im doing a Point Of View this chapter, Shizuo's specifically, I felt like I should get more into the infatuation Shizuo has with Izaya. 
> 
> Plus this is a really short chapter and I apologize.

 Chapter 13: It Never Rains But It Pours (Shizuo's POV)

  
"Shinra! Hurry the fuck up!"   
I was growing more agitated. Shinra couldn't help his speed, clearly, he was doing his best, but with this whole situation, Izaya getting shot, Namie's cold hard glare as she passed me to go into the operating room, Celty's concerned messages...  
I was sitting on the couch in the living room of Shinra and Celty's apartment, the clinking and clanging from the operating room and the clacking of Celty typing on her PDA once again asking if I'd like a drink to calm down.   
"Shizuo" Shinra came out with bloody gloves on and my stomach churned. He was holding a needle and an empty blood bag, eyes lowered. I instantly stood up and rolled up my sleeve, my hands shaking so badly that it took me a moment to fiddle with the wrist buttons on my shirt.   
Celty saw my struggle, her cold hands tapping mine to move them, slowly and carefully rolling my sleeve up enough for Shinra to inject the needle. I looked at the blood bag, watching it slowly fill with bright red blood, the colour gradually getting darker the more was added. I had so much to ask Shinra. Was he okay? Who shot him? Would he have any repercussions from this? When will he wake up? But for some reason my throat couldn't form any sentence that may have a bad response. I could only manage the dumbest question in hopes it might make me feel better.   
"Are you sure my blood type is the right one?" I heard my own voice, the way it sounded hushed and defeated, defeated just to lie in wait for everything to be okay again.   
  
"You're O Shizuo, you can give to anyone" Shinra smiled, but sighed when he saw my face. "You're lucky, Izaya's also O, so it will go beyond smoothly."  
I swallowed the lump in my throat and gave a weak nod, Shinra removing the needle and putting a small bandaid over the area.   
"He's going to be alright, Shizuo" the doctor smiled at me, pushing up his glasses with his non-bloodied knuckle.  
I felt an odd wave of relief wash over me and I let out a sigh that wracked my shoulders and chest. Shinra disappeared back inside the operating room in time for Namie to come out, stalking towards me. I knew it was coming, but I didnt stop her, I deserved it after all. She reached over and grabbed a vase with a fake flower in it, tossing it straight at me, the porcelain smashing against my face, sending small slices across my face. "This is all your fault!" She screamed, her body trembling, Celty shooting to stand, smoke blowing from her neckhole like steam, fists clenched. I reached out a hand to her to stop her and she slowly relaxed, waiting for my reaction.   
  
But I didnt give her one, simply looking down.  
It was my fault.   
Namie didnt seem content however, her teeth gritted and brow bunched, whipping around to find something to throw at me, only to find that Shinra sparcely decorated. She growled under her breath, darting to the kitchen and swiping a fork from the counter before running at me with an almost animalistic cry.   
The moment she reached me I shot my hands out, grabbing both of her wrists easily and stopping her in her tracks. Her eyes got more and more desperate the more she couldn't move, her lips trembling and her hands shaking, trying to stab me in the wrist with the fork though her hand just couldn't reach the right angle.   
Soon enough, she stopped and went limp, her head dropping and her body shaking.   
"You damn monster... Why does he even care about you?! All you do is hurt him! You dont care about taking care of him! Monster!"  
"Namie." Shinra's voice was hard, his eyes narrowed. I looked over at him and slowly released Namie, the woman whipping to face him.   
"Kishitani-Sensei I---"  
"Out."  
"Excuse me?"  
Shinra sighed and shook his head."Izaya needs rest, I'll call you when he's feeling better, but for now, please just go home."  
Namie growled and went to say something, only to give up with a defeated sigh, dropping her shoulders.   
"Yes sensei..." She mumbled, a frown on her lips as she turned and left the apartment without a single word to me.   
I couldn't care less that she was gone, I just turned to Shinra. "So he's okay..?"  
Shinra smiled and nodded. "Barely conscious, but he's okay--"  
"He's awake?! Why didn't you lead with that shitty-glasses!"  
I shoved the doctor to the side and swallowed, running into the room that housed a patched up Izaya, the raven blinking sluggishly at me.   
"Izaya..."  
"Shizu-Chan..." He sounded almost surprised to see me, his eyes wide, the colour of his face much paler than normal. It made my gut turn, he looked so... Weak that it was unsettling. My throat dried up when I looked at him, my blood in a bag keeping him stable hanging on an IV hook attached to his arm, the raven's dulled eyes lowering in familiar comfort as I grew closer to him.   
'Are you okay' didnt seem to want to come out of my mouth, my throat closing around the words. I opened my mouth and cleared my throat to try again, only to end up saying something completely different without even thinking about it.   
  
"I love you."  
  
Izaya blinked to process what I'd said, then slowly his eyes widened, as did mine. Had I really just said that..? My jaw dropped as I watched the raven, his lips slowly parting, letting out a choked noise I assumed was an attempt at speech. He swallowed visibly, Adam's apple bobbing faintly.   
"What..?"  
"I..."  
"No... Say it again..." Izaya swallowed again, like he physically couldn't get enough liquid to his mouth. I felt a lump rise in my throat at Izaya's expression, sighing faintly and looking him in the eye, certainty in my voice.   
"I love you, Izaya."  
"That's impossible..." he whispered, shaking his head rapidly only to stop and groan, holding his head.   
"Shit... Are you okay?" I jogged to his bedside, a hand on his shoulder. "You shouldn't make any sudden movements..."  
"Dont touch me..."  
The words came out almost desperately and I immediately let Izaya go like his skin burnt me, eyes wide.   
"Izaya I..."  
"Please just leave..." His voice shook.  
"What..?"  
"I just... Dont want to see you right now..."  
I swallowed hard and straightened up, a pang of hurt blossoming in my chest.   
"Is it because of what I said..?" It came out barely as a whisper and my heart sank when Izaya nodded once.   
The pang of hurt ripped through me, tearing open my chest and leaving me to pick up the shards of my heart, backing up a few steps, my body shaking.   
"I... I understand" I whispered, my head dropping as I turned around, feeling the burn of tears behind my eyelids as I swiftly walked through the door, out of the apartment into the rain.   
  
I wish I had've stayed just a little longer, just so I could've heard him say my name right after I left, in a dejected voice I never wanted to ever hear from him. 


	14. Chapter 14: Good Can Often Come From Misfortune (Izaya's POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another POV, the next chapter will be back to third person.

Chapter 14: Good Can Often Come From Misfortune (Izaya's POV)

 

 

I stared at the empty doorway that Shizuo had left out of just a moment ago. I could feel my head swimming. I didnt want to say that. I didnt know what I wanted to say... I was confused and upset, not to mention in pain.   
"Shizu-Chan..." I whispered, my hand going to my shoulder. The places he'd touched still burned, that same hot feeling that I got whenever he touched me. It always left me craving, wanting more touch, more compassion, more... Anything.   
I stared at my hand after bringing it away from my shoulder, my vision blurring with tears that had been pricking behind my eyelids for a while.   
Humans are interesting.   
Location, appearance, tone. If any of these things change, something like this...  
When the situation changes, they get excited.   
I love humans. There is only one thing I desire: To love every single one of them.   
They can't even act the way they want to, people are fools. With such incredible strength, to think that such a person can exist. Not to mention, I feel so shaken by him.   
  
Just kidding.   
  
_This is the worst... If you're a monster, dont act like a human being._   
When he gets violent, I laugh so happily. Always, always, always.   
From that day on, I've always pissed him off.   
_My beloved monster whom I hate so much I want to kill._   
"You aren't allowed to be human." I whispered to myself, letting the tears drip down my cheeks and the hollow feeling of regret fill my chest, longing for him to come back, hoping that he was nearby enough to hear me.  
  
"Because I love humans..."  
  
I swallowed and turned to the IV bag attached to my arm, the blood that was in it long since soaked into my own body. He gritted my teeth and pulled the IV from my arm gently, swinging my legs out of the bed and shakily standing. My stomach flipped with nausea but I swallowed it back, resolve in my mind as I hobbled to the door.   
Shinra met me in the living room with wide eyes. "Izaya! Get back in bed, you're going to tear your stitches!"  
I just shook my head and weakly shoved past him, panting out my breaths.   
"Izaya!" He called after me, but it was distorted, my brain couldn't care about listening to him, there was only one thought on my mind as my footfalls echoed in the empty hallway as I reached the elevator.   
_Shizuo. Shizuo. Shizuo. Shizuo._  
I had to find him.

  
I smashed my fingers down on the ground floor button and leaned on the elevator, panting harshly. The massive metal doors shut and I closed my eyes. The pain tearing through me was almost unbearable, I hadn't torn any stitches yet, but I knew if I so much as tried to run I'd be in big trouble.   
The few minutes it took to reach the ground floor felt like years of slow pain and quick breathing. Finally, the elevator dinged and I hobbled out, my eyes widening when I came face to face with Shiki-San.   
"Shiki-San..." I murmured out, the mafia member blinking at me and frowning.   
"Orihara... And you're injured too. Where is it you're headed?"  
I had to think about that for a moment before swallowing as hard as I could muster.   
"West Ikebukuro Exit Five-Way Intersection." I managed in as determined a voice I could muster. Shiki-San sighed and nodded, looking over at two burly men he had with him.   
"You heard him. Take him there" he ordered. My eyes widened slightly and Shiki walked past me into the elevator, pressing the button for Shinra's floor.   
He gestured for me to go with his men and I managed a grateful nod, hobbling towards the car.

  
Driving in Shiki-San's car wasn't an unfamiliar experience for me. Sinking back in the leather as the car drove through the rain gave me an odd sense of comfort, but also of anxiety.   
What if Shizuo wasn't even there?   
I swallowed back my doubts as the one sided glass pane deparating me and the driver slid down. "Where to now Mr. Orihara?"  
"Left" I managed out, the driver obeying me, stopping when I told him to. "Thanks" I smiled faintly, tossing him a few bills for his trouble and getting out of the car in front of the apartment building I had deliberately saught out.   
I hobbled up the stairs and stood in front of the right apartment. No doubt Shizuo would be able to 'smell me' either way, but I hesitately knocked on the door.   
I had only ever been inside Shizuo's apartment once when Shizuo wasn't there, I made an attempt to put an explosive under his bed, but he sniffed it out and got rid of it.

  
I was about to knock again, feeling disheartened when I heard the shuffling of bare feet on unpolished wood from inside before the sound of a metal lock scraping and the door opened, revealing the one and only strongest man of Ikebukuro.   
"Izaya..." His eyes widened when he saw me, eyes flicking down briefly to where my hand was cupped over my bullet wound, thankfully _not_ stained with my blood.   
"I'm sorry" I breathed out, as if seeing him had whisked all the air from my body. I felt breathless just seeing him.   
"Are you nuts? How did you get here? Get inside" Shizuo swallowed, pulling me out of the rain and into his warm apartment.   
"I... Caught a ride with a few of Shiki-San's men..." I explained, turning back around to look at Shizuo shutting and locking the door, hands lingering on the lock, like he didnt want to turn around.

  
"You could've given yourself pnemonia again..." He murmured, sighing. "Or opened your wound again."  
"It would've been worth it" I said back, gazing up at him as he turned around, surprise written all over his brutishly handsome face.   
"Izaya, I--"  
"I love humans."  
I watched his brow furrow, trying to piece together the abstract phrase. I dropped my head.   
"I love humans... You're not a human... You're special."  
"Izaya, if this is about earlier--"  
"You're a monster... But you're my monster..."  
"Izaya really, this is a bad idea, I'm dangerous--"  
"Will you just shut the fuck up for a second?" I snapped, clenching my fists, spying an annoyed twitch in his eyes.   
"I get it, you're 'dangerous' and I should be afraid of you! Big woop!" I clenched my teeth. "You're a monster, so what? I haven't been afraid of monsters since I was a child!"  
Shizuo's eyes widened slightly, lips parting, but I didnt let him speak.   
"I was scared okay? No one's really told me that they loved me, so how was I supposed to know how to respond?! Especially not when its you of all people! We've been enemies for over 10 years! It was just... A weird change..." My voice got softer and I swallowed back the lump in my throat, looking Shizuo straight in the eye.   
"Do you love me or not, Shizuo?"  
"I..." Shizuo sighed. "Izaya you--"  
"Do you or not?"  
A resigned sigh, then Shizuo dropped his shoulders.   
"I do, but aren't I just another pawn?"  
"You're not a pawn... You're so much more than that..." I breathed, launching at him as best I could, feeling strong arms wrap around me, gripping dyed blond hair and nuzzling my face into the crook of his neck.

  
In a manner of speaking, a pawn cannot simply move on its own, it must have someone controlling it or else it will not move, like a puppet with no puppeteer. If the player is battling with their own demons, rather than facing the task at hand, that's it, its checkmate. you have to be aware of your opponent's every move to not make a mistake. If your too busy overthinking your own moves, you may end up placing your pawn in a potentially bad position and throwing the match away. Careful of what square you place your pawn, be it black or white, the colour is not important, but which enemies oppose it.

If my humans were my pawns, my Shizu-Chan was my King, and I'd send as many humans to their deaths as I need to to protect him. 


	15. Chapter 15: Away From Home, One Should Feel No Shame

Chapter 15: Away From Home, One Should Feel No Shame  
  


When Izaya woke, he found himself bundled in soft, blue sheets. Sitting up, he looked around, spying eggshell painted walls, a small window behind the bed covered in a lace curtain, a bedside table with a broken alarm clock blinking 99:99am and a nicely painted Matroshyka doll set on it, a plain dresser with bottles of cologne and deodorant strewn across it, a closet and the door to an ensuite.   
  
He unwound himself from the sheets to find his jacket was off and his side felt much better. He lifted his shirt to find that the wound had healed drastically, smiling faintly. He sighed and dropped the shirt again, padding around the room, fingers brushing the Matroshyka dolls and dancing over the cologne bottles. He opened the closet to find it lined in Shizuo's bartender outfits. Rolling his eyes, Izaya continued to snoop, going into the ensuite, a few tiles in the small shower shattered, the toilet seat up and a small cup with a blue toothbrush sitting in it on the sink. A small smile found its way onto Izaya's face, opening the mirror cabinet only to find a small first aid kit that looked untouched, a few spare bottles of shampoo and conditioner, a bottle of blond hair dye and a spare toothbrush. He closed the cabinet again with a hum, twirling in the bathroom for a moment before drifting out again, smiling faintly at the bathroom lock that he himself had replaced. He wandered out into the living room only to find that Shizuo wasn't anywhere in sight. He blinked, at a note on the counter though, going over and picking it up.   
  
'Gone to work, should be back around 3ish, try not to destroy the place. There's food in the kitchen if you get hungry.  
-Shizuo.'  
  
Izaya rolled his eyes and laughed faintly. "Curt as usual." he mused, spying his jacket draped over the plush grey couch, going over and pulling out his phone, checking the time to find that it was only 9:30am.   
He sighed faintly and rolled his eyes, looking around the small apartment, the kitchen clean aside from a few dirty bowls in the sink and the trash can full of empty cup noodle cups and disposable chopsticks. He chuckled and yawned, leaning on the back of the couch for a moment or two, looking at the ashtray on the coffee table.   
  
"I usually get up earlier than this, so why do I feel so bored?" He murmured, sighing. His fingers idly brushed over the wound in his side. He knew that Shizuo had probably gotten Shinra over to look at the wound while he was asleep, typical Shizu-Chan paying attention to what really mattered. He sighed and swung himself over the couch to sit on it, blinking when something hard smacked against his ass when he did so. He sighed and dug his hand around, pulling out an Iphone with a cracked screen. He rose a brow and clicked the lock button, the screen lighting up to a photo of Shizuo and Kasuka , the pair smiling faintly, Shizuo's arm around his brother. Izaya blinked and smiled faintly, rolling his eyes. "Shizu-Chan really does adore his brother hmm?" He mused, a frown forming on his lips when he thought of his relationship with his own siblings.

  
 ** _Its your own fault. You pushed them away like you do to everyone.  
_**  
Izaya stiffened at the voice and gritted his teeth, swallowing hard.   
"You're not real."  
  
 ** _I'm real enough. You know I only speak the truth, my dear.  
_**  
He took a deep breath and swallowed. Of course. He'd left his psychosis medication at his own house,   
  
**_And I know the truth is that you really hate him.  
_**  
Izaya frowned and clamped his hands over his ears. "Liar."  
 ** _  
In this world there's only one that can make you unhappy. You hate him, you hate him enough to kill him.  
_**  
"I dont. Not anymore." He stood up with narrowed eyes, staring across the room at what was talking. It was Shizuo's floor length mirror, though Izaya's reflection had been warped, his form turning into a black, hissing blob mass with gaping white eyes staring right at him.   
  
**_You hate him because he always goes beyond your expectations.  
_**  
"No. Its not like that!" Izaya hissed, clenching his fists. "Its me, Im the one always deviating from my own expectations..."  
  
 ** _He's just your puppet. Is there anything to expect from a fighting puppet?_**  
  
Izaya clenched his teeth, throat closing around a lump, his eyes stinging. "He's not. He's not just a puppet..."  
  
 ** _You're so naiive._**  
  
"Naiive?" He blinked and frowned, head dropping from the hissing eyes. "I'm naiive?"  
He clenched his fists and snarled, eyes narrowed, stepping forward and raising his eyes to the mirror.   
"He wont back down! No matter what I do, he wont back down! I'm confused! I cant predict what will happen next! I dont understand him!"  
  
 **** _What do you expect from him? Do you expect love? Affection? From a monster?_  
  
"Just shut the fuck up!" He yelled, grabbing Shizuo's phone and letting out a cry, flinging the phone at the mirror, shattering it. He panted for a moment, the shards of the mirror showing his own reflection. He swallowed, shuffling over to the mirror, sifting through the broken glass and picking up the phone and swallowing, the screen more cracked than before. He sighed heavily, standing up and brushing off his knees and frowning at it, shoving it in his pocket. He sighed and pulled on his shoes and jacket, locking up and leaving the apartment, hands in his pockets as he walked into central Ikebukuro.  
  


He sighed, browsing through the different phone types on his way into an Apple store, he scowled to himself before he walked up to the counter, deadpanning and placing the phone on the counter with a clatter, startling the counter girl.   
"Can I help you, sir?" She smiled, bright and bubbly, at least in her late 30s with brown hair swept into a neat bun and in a pristine white apple uniform.   
"I want a new screen." Izaya wasted no time on the frivolities of politeness, it would do him no good to be nice to this woman.   
"J-Just the screen sir?" She blinked and gently picked up the phone, her nametag reading 'Nagisa.'  
"Just the screen" he murmured, eyes scanning over her nametag, then back to her appearance, his eyes narrowing when he got to her hands.   
The woman hummed faintly to herself, organizing a screen to fit Shizuo's phone, brown eyes lowered.   
"Excuse the question..." Izaya began, eyes lowered, fingers brushing his gunshot wound gently. "But might your last name be Suzuki?"  
The woman blinked and smiled faintly. "It was back when I was married" she smiled, lines crinkling by her mouth.  
Izaya gave a sweet smile. "I thought so" he hummed, pulling out the right amount of money and placing it on the counter. "Thank you very much."   
He tried not to make his voice sound tight as he scooped up the fixed phone, turning around and walking away from her, his eyes narrowing and teeth gnashing together.   
  
  
After checking around thoroughly, Izaya left the store, hands in his pockets and hood up, walking towards the debt collection agency that Shizuo worked for. He sighed and pushed open the door, pulling his hood back and shaking out his hair, going up to the reception.   
"Are you here for someone?" The woman at the counter turned up her nose to him, eyes lowered.  
She was clearly in too much makeup, her gold earrings heavy and weighing between curls of brown hair, in a white blouse with a big pink bow at the collar.   
"Indeed I am" Izaya smiled sweetly again, feeling bitterness in the back of his throat from the forced politeness. "Is Heiwajima Shizuo here?"  
"Heiwajima-San?" She rose a brow and leaned her cheek on her hand. "No, he's out at the moment, why?"  
Izaya had to physically dig his nails into his palms to avoid hitting this irritating woman.   
Instead, he just pulled Shizuo's phone out from his pocket, setting it on the counter. "In that case, would you be able to give this to him? He left it at home this morning."  
"Sure, sure" she mused, examining her nails, putting the phone by her computer keyboard.   
Izaya didnt wait around for her to insinuate that he should leave, turning on his heel and exiting the agency.  
  


"Is that the last one?" Shizuo said to Tom, pushing up his glasses. Tom yawned and nodded. "Now just to drop the money at the agency and we're done" he mused, stretching his arms above his head. Shizuo nodded, loitering back a little and making small talk with Varona as they headed back to the agency.   
Walking through the air conditioned doors was a refreshing feeling, Tom letting out a heavy sigh as he went over to the counter, placing the briefcase of money on it.   
"that's everyone for today" he smiled at the woman, who outright ignored him and looked around him.   
"Heiwajima-San!" She called instead, waving him over. Shizuo blinked and tilted his head, walking over and holding his hand out when she dropped his phone into it.   
"Some guy in a furry parka dropped this off for you earlier." She hummed, Shizuo blinking and turning the phone on, raising a brow at the fixed screen.   
"Ah, thanks, Miyu-San..." he murmured, smiling faintly to himself.   
"Hey Shizuo, wanna go out for a drink after htis?" Tom smiled, tilting his head. Shizuo blinked and shoved his phone in his pocket.   
"No thanks, I got some stuff to do at home" he smiled and turned around, waving behind his back. "See you guys tomorrow" he hummed, walking out the automatic doors, hearing Tom asking Varona instead.  
  


Getting home, Shizuo was still smiling, unlocking the door and stretching, going inside. "Izaya? Im back!" He called, looking around and frowning at the mirror shattered in the living room. He scoped out the bedroom, finding it empty, raising his eyebrow.   
"Izaya?"  
"I dont know what to do..."  
He blinked when he heard Izaya's voice, looking around and spotting the raven out on the balcony, talking into his cellphone. He blinked and rose a brow, hiding behind the curtain and opening the door a tiny amount to hear him better.   
"I hate Shizu-Chan, I hate him from the bottom of my heart..."  
Shizuo cringed as a bolt of pain shot through his heart, brow furrowing as he looked down.   
"I hate the Shizu-Chan that kept interfering with me... Unreasonable thinking, I cant predict his unreasonable subversive behaviour..."  
Shizuo's brow furrowed at the big words, pursing his lips.   
"But I hate myself more..." A long sigh. "I was made a fool by something as stupid as this, Im supposed to be an untouchable god, Celty! So how could I be so easily smitten by a monster?"  
"Smitten..." Shizuo murmured to himself. "That means love right?"  
"There's no way this can end well for either of us, especially not when I have a massive target on my back, Im gonna end up getting him killed..."  
Another sigh and Izaya leaned on the balcony.   
"But I dont want him to die anymore, I hate him, Celty, more than I've ever hated anyone, I hate that he can make me feel more human than I've ever felt, I hate that he made me love him..."   
Shizuo felt his chest tighten and he smiled to himself, eyes lowered.   
"Anyways, I'd better go, he'll be back soon, thanks for hearing me out." Izaya sighed and hung up the phone, rubbing his face.

  
When Izaya came back inside, Shizuo was just walking through the door, pretending to have only just gotten home.   
"Hey" he smiled, eyes lowered. "Thanks for fixing my phone, you didnt need to do that."  
"Yeah well, Im the one who broke it" Izaya sighed, gesturing to the mirror. "Also sorry about that, I'll replace that too."  
Shizuo just shrugged and came over to Izaya, looping his thumbs in Izaya's belt loops and pulling the raven to him.   
"I really dont care about that" he murmured, tilting Izaya's head up and pressing his lips to the raven's cold, chapped ones.   
  
_I dont care what you break, as long as its not my heart._


	16. Chapter 16: One Good Turn Deserves Another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was recently in a car accident and I broke my left wrist (Dominant hand, oops?) and so now my updates will be slower and prolly a little shorter, so sorry ;;

Chapter 16: One Good Turn Deserves Another  
  
  
_"How is it you are so kind to people?"_  
Milk and honey dripped from my lips as I answered.  
"Because people have not been kind to me."

Shizuo woke up with a weight on his chest and stinging behind his eyes. He swallowed back a lump in his throat and touched his face gently, feeling his cheeks wet with tears. He sighed faintly, looking to his left, where Izaya was sleeping peacefully, his closed switchblade in hand and a pair of loose shorts encasing his bottom half, a large grey hoodie of Shizuo's hanging limply on his small frame.   
Izaya was still tense with sleeping with Shizuo, opting to have a knife in hand or at least nearby, not that that really bothered the monster of Ikebukuro in the slightest.   
He looked over Izaya's body and frowned faintly, rubbing his face a few times before sitting up, trying not to jostle the bed too much when he got out. He walked out to the living room, his phone still sitting on the counter, blinking with a message. The blond blinked and clicked the screen on, the message from Shinra.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

From: Shinra   
Time: 4:33am  
Subject: Izaya's Medication

Hihi~! Just making sure Izaya's okay, has he been taking the Clozapine tablets regularly?

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

"Cloza-what now?" Shizuo blinked and tilted his head. He hadn't seen Izaya take any medication with him since he had pnemonia, so he supposed that was a no. He blinked and hummed, grabbing his keys and an umbrella and heading out into the early morning rain.

Shizuo sighed, walking the long trip to Izaya's Ikebukuro penthouse, all the while mulling over trying to remember the passcode. When he arrived, he punched in the number and went inside, turning on a few lights, spotting the telltale white of a pill bottle on the counter. He walked over and picked it up, eyes running over the label. 

 

**[IZAYA ORIHARA]**   
**CLOZAPINE (25MG) C 18H19ClN4**

** Atypical antipsychotic **

**Rx only: 100 tablets**   
**Each tablet contains: Clozapine USP 25mg**   
**KEEP THIS AND OTHER MEDICATIONS OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN**   
  
**For use to reduce suicidal thoughts and behaviour in Schizophrenic or Bipolar patients and reduce hallucinations and psychotic behaviour.**   
  
**Side effects include:**

  * **Constipation.**
  * **Drooling.**
  * **Sleep problems.**
  * **Increased sweating.**
  * **Weight gain.**
  * **Dry mouth.**
  * **Blurred vision.**
  * **Drowsiness.**



  
  
Shizuo blinked and sighed, picking up the prescription underneath the bottle, reading the dosage, opening the bottle and counting out the small yellow pills. "If he has to take 2 a day then he's fine with this bottle for the next month or so..." He murmured, shoving the bottle into his pocket and yawning, shutting Izaya's door behind him and locking it, walking back through the condo building to the lobby.   
"Fuck.." he murmured. "Prescription..." he sighed, turning on his heel and going back up the stairs to the condo, about to unlock the door when he stopped, eyes wide when he heard shuffling from inside. He swallowed hard and narrowed his eyes, looking around for anything he could use as a weapon, scoffing and simply kicking the door open.   
The noise seemed to startle the intruder - A fluffy black stray cat crouched in a fighting position by the kitchen sink, having come in from the rain outside, drinking the water in the sink. Shizuo blinked, his rage dissipating rather quickly when he saw he was up against a cat, stepping closer, the cat narrowing its golden eyes at him. He put up his hands and blinked, surrendering to the fearsome beast, going in a wide arc over to the cupboard, pulling out a can of salmon, holding it out like a peace offering. "You look hungry" he sighed, opening the can up and putting it on the floor, stepping back for the cat to get to it.   
The cat sniffed and mewled, jumping down and running over, scarfing down the food he offered. Shizuo chuckled faintly, sitting by the cat and humming, sighing and stroking it's matted fur. "You need a bath..." he mused, standing up and filling the sink with warm water and soap, creeping up on the cat with grin, pouncing once it had finished eating, picking it up and ignoring it hissing and scratching at him, dumping the feline in the water and scrubbing the fur clean and silky again.   
The cat relaxed at his touch, purring and mewling, Shizuo rolling his eyes. "you're as bad as the flea, though I've never met a tsundere cat" he rolled his eyes. 

After the bath, he sat with the cat on the couch, watching the sun rise as he dragged a soft brush over the cat's fur, the small bundle purring asleep in Shizuo's lap. The blond smiled faintly, sighing and humming, placing the brush down and yawning, stretching his arms above his head and checking the ornate clock Izaya kept on the kitchen counter. It read 7:43am.  
"He'll be waking up soon" Shizuo murmured to the cat, eyes lowered. "As much as I like having you around, I dont think he'd like it too much if I just let a cat stay in his house." He smiled and picked the willing little thing up, the cat meowing and nosing at his face, nuzzling into him. He chuckled and left the condo again, carrying the bundle of fluff when his phone started ringing. He grunted and adjusted to pull it out, seeing Izaya's name come up on the ID.   
"See? Told you" he murmured to the cat, who meowed in response, answering the phone. "Izaya--"  
"Where the hell are you? You said you didnt have work today, so why are you out?"  
"I just went to your place to get your medication, Shinra told me to" the blond sighed, smiling faintly as he walked.   
"Yeah well you scared the shit out of me, are you heading back now?" He heard Izaya sigh on the other end of the line. The cat in his hand nosed at Shizuo's cheek again, meowing into the line. Izaya's brow furrowed and Shizuo could hear the confusion in his voice.   
"Is that a cat?"  
"Yeah, a stray found its way into your place, I fed it and stuff so now Im letting it go."  
"Wait! Does it have a collar?"  
Shizuo blinked.   
"No, why?"  
"Bring it home."  
"Huh? You sure?"  
"Positive..." Shizuo could almost hear the embarrassed blush and laughed, adjusting the cat in his arm.   
"Alright, I'll be home soon."

 

Seeing Izaya with a cat was fairly comical, the raven hadn't taken his eyes off the cat, both of them kneeling on the floor staring at each other. Shizuo had to laugh when Izaya tilted his head to the side, the cat mimicking his movements and doing the same. He rolled his eyes, Izaya holding out a smooth pale hand, the cat walking up and sniffing it before dropping its head in his hand, the raven's face lighting up in a rare genuine smile. Shizuo blinked and blushed a little, smiling.   
"You wanna keep him?"  
"Its a girl" Izaya hummed, playing with the cat in his lap, stroking its fur.   
"Him, her whatever, do you wanna keep it?"  
"Are you sure?" Izaya blinked. "Its not too much trouble if we do?"  
"I dont mind" the fake blond shrugged, blinking and pulling a cigarette from his packet in his pocket.   
Izaya nodded. "Then yeah we'll keep her" he smiled, scratching behind her ear, the cat melting at the touch with a purr.   
"What are you gonna name her?" Shizuo mused, crossing his arms after lighting up the cigarette.   
Izaya shrugged. "You found her, you should name her" he hummed, petting her stomach and huffing when she scratched him.   
"Huh?" Shizuo blinked. "Me name it? I dunno..."  
"Just name the damn cat, protozoan." Izaya rolled his eyes.   
"Uuuuh Izaya?"  
"Yeah?"  
"No, like, should I name it Izaya?"  
The raven deadpanned. "Is it cause she looks like me?"  
"Kinda..."  
"No way, that'll get way too confusing."  
"Fine... Uuumm...."  
Izaya cooed, smiling at the cat.   
"Ah, I've got one" Shizuo smiled, sitting by Izaya and petting the cat. 

"Rook."  
"Rook? Like the chess piece?" Izaya blinked and cast a look back at his Shogi board, the mess of Go, Othello, Chess and Shogi pieces on it.   
"Yeah" Shizuo hummed and nodded. "We have the king," he pointed to himself, "the queen," he gave a wry smile and pointed at Izaya, who huffed at him, "and then there's all your pawns." He shrugged "so why not add one more into it?" he hummed, petting Rook's ears.   
Izaya blnked, shrugging and nodding. "Alright then, Rook it is."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know its short, the next chapter will be longer I swear, Im just getting the hang of typing with a broken wrist.  
> -Gin


	17. Chapter 17: Chocolate Need Not Always Be Sweet

Chapter 17: Chocolate Need Not Always Be Sweet  
  
"So" Izaya hummed faintly, looking over at Shizuo, eyes lowered, his long fingers scratching at Rook's inky fur, the cat sleeping peacefully in his arms.   
"Hmm?" Shizuo looked over his shoulder at the raven, blinking slightly, licking his thumb free of a splash of miso soup.   
Izaya yawned eyes lowered. "Do you work tomorrow?"   
"Tomorrow?"  
"Yeah, as in the day after today."  
"Very funny jackass, no I don't but Kasuka wanted to meet up with me so I'll prolly be with him tomorrow" the blond mused, stirring dashi into the pot he was hovering over. Izaya pouted lightly to himself and sighed.   
"Gotcha, s'pose I'll just visit a friend then" he shrugged, looking out the window at the pouring rain. "Hopefully the rain will stop soon..."He mumbled.  
"You say something?" Shizuo called, Izaya sighing.   
"No, nothing."  
  
  
When Izaya woke the next morning, Shizuo was already gone, the raven alone. His sigh resinated through the empty apartment, looking around at the bare room, Rook stretched out asleep on Shizuo’s side of the bed. Izaya rolled his eyes and stood up, stretching and yawning, hearing the dull pops of his bones cracking. He pulled on a pair of sweatpants with a hum, padding into the kitchen.  
  
After staring at the fridge for a good few minutes before deciding he want even hungry, the raven flopped onto the couch, turning on the tv to see some news report on how marriages were collapsing more than usual around this time of year.   
"Idiots shouldn't be bothering with relationships anyways " the raven cackled faintly before stopping mid-laugh, frowning.  
 _Then what does that make me and Shizu-Chan..? A couple? Certainly not the conventional kind..._  
He snapped out of his thoughts when the doorbell rang, then followed by a knock. Izaya blinked and got up, shrugging on a tshirt of Shizuo’s, going over to the door, opening it up to find only a small box on the doorstep addressed to him.   
His eyes narrowed faintly as he took it inside, pulling out his switchblade and cutting open the tape, stepping back with an arm over his face when he opened it in case it was a bomb.   
Waiting for a few seconds, he stepped forward and lowered his arm, peeking into the box.  
Inside was a red, red rose with a bow around it, a small heart shaped box and a note with his name on it. He flushed faintly and reached in, pulling the items out one by one, getting a glass of water for the rose before opening the note. He admired the rose for a moment before flipping open the note.   
  
________________________  
Dearest one,   
I am unavailable right now, but I promise to come home soon to shower you with affection, so please don't be mad.   
I want you to meet me at the building directly opposite Tokyo Hands at exactly 9pm, enjoy your relaxation before we see each other tonight.   
-S  
 ________________________  
  
Izaya's chest fluttered, opening the heart shaped box that housed a single small chocolate, smiling at it with a soft sigh.   
"He's such a dork..." He murmured, unable to keep the smile off his face.   
  
  
Come 9pm, Izaya was waiting at the building specified, looking up at the snow, wearing the only black suit that he owned with a blood red tie, his fur lined ankle-length coat done up over the top, snow in his hair. He could feel his nose going pink from the cold, shoving his hands in his pockets.   
  
Looking up at the clock at the station he smiled wryly, the clock reading nearly 10pm. "You're late, protozoan..." he murmured to himself, looking around for any sign of blond hair. There were couples everywhere, girls clinging to boy's arms, people carring bags of Valentine's gifts, but no blond bodyguard.   
  
Spotting a familiar head of hair passing him, he reached out and grabbed a handful of brown coat, the person turning to him with wide eyes, pushing his glasses up. "Hey you're..."  
"Have you seen Shizu-Chan tonight?" Izaya blurted out, clearing his throat to compose himself as he let his arm drop.  
Tom Tanaka pushed his glasses up with a soft sigh, Varona standing by him, eyes narrowed at Izaya.   
"Shizuo? Not tonight I haven't... Listen, between you and me, could you maybe not mess with him tonight? It's Valentine's day, I'm sure you both just want a peaceful night for once" Tom frowned, sighing and taking Varona's hand, walking away with her.   
Izaya frowned, looking around one last time, leaning against the abandoned building with a frown, head down slightly, about to give up when he felt a hand tap his shoulder.   
He blinked wide eyes and whipped around. "You're late protozo-- Eh..?"  
Shinichi Tsukumoya stood there with a rather regretful expression.   
"Shinichi..?" Izaya murmured, blinking.   
"I know you won't believe me, but I really am sorry for this" Tsukumoya frowned and sighed, Izaya's brow furrowing.   
Tsukumoya gave him an apologetic smile and launched at him, pressing a rag against his face, hands grabbing him from behind, seizing his knife and tying his wrists, a blindfold wrapped around his head afterwards. Izaya managed a muffled scream before the chloroform got the better of him and darkness won.

 _Aaah I hate Valentine's Day so much..._  

 

Izaya barely registered waking up. His hands were numb and ached with pins and needles when he tried to flex them. He felt like he was lying down on something soft, a blindfold around his eyes. He felt cold. A few seconds ticked past and he realized why, his clothes had been stripped down to his underwear and his white button up suit shirt. _Most likely to get all the weapons off me..._  Straining his ears as best he could, he could hear a faint dripping noise, the sounds of shuffling feet and the steady beating of his own heart. Izaya felt his eyebrows draw together, his breathing halting as he tried to strain to hear more.

 _I'm inside... The room must be pretty small and I'm close to a tap... The walls sound wooden but thick... Wait a minute..._  

His eyebrows shot up. Izaya's senses were top notch, his line of work forcing him to be careful and be able to identify his surroundings without the use of his eyes.

_I can't make any sudden movements._

He was lying on his side on a bed on the far wall of a small room, the door unlocked but far out of his reach. The room was set up with a very thin hard to notice spiderweb of strings of piano wire, if Izaya were to try and sit up, a wire strung directly above his waist would no double cut fairly deep into his side, a similar thread of wire just behind his wrists in case he rolled over, one near his temple and one by his unbound ankles. Near the door was a small tap dripping every few seconds. Izaya took a deep, calming breath.

_There's no one in the room with me and I don't see the flash of a surveillance camera light behind this blindfold... It's likely they don't know I'm awake..._

He licked over his teeth in a quick swiping motion, sticking out his left index finger as far as he could, feeling the sharp pain of the piano wire slicing his skin open.

_There._

Following the wire with his finger, he managed to bring his wrists up to it, clenching his eyes shut to concentrate on where he needed the wire to cut. _One wrong move... If I cut my wrist open its game over..._  

**_Sclickt._ **

He let out a sigh of relief when he heard the duct tape around his wrists slice cleanly, quickly jerking his hands back to the safety of his back. Tugging and twisting his wrists a little, he managed to free his wrists with only slight cuts to his elbows, carefully bringing his hands around to his front, hunching over in the fetal position to tug the blindfold off his head. Blinking in the low light, he instantly felt much better, the constant dripping of the faucet having given him an painful headache. Looking around and gaguing his surroundings for a moment, he slowly slipped through the blind spot in the tangled mess of wires and stood, stretching out his body and looking over himself for any sort of injection mark or tracking device. Nodding when he found nothing the raven looked around, as he thought there were no cameras nor were there any shadows under the door indicating there was anyone outside. Izaya shook his head smirking faintly.

"Sorry kidnappers, but you're just too easy..." He murmured, opening the door a crack and darting his eyes around, finding a dull hallway completely empty. He examined the door for a moment with a hum. "So the door's set up to swing shut behind you hm..? And you've rigged it to make a noise when it shuts... So you know when I leave the room, clever..." He mused, eyes narrowed as he scanned the hallway once more. "But not clever enough! You forget I've spent my whole life running from a monster!" Izaya grinned, throwing the door open as far as possible before sprinting from the room, making it halfway down the hallway before the door shut with a loud THWACK. Izaya laughed joviously at the refreshing feeling of adrenaline in his body, hunching over to run a little faster at the sight of an open door when his bare foot hit something that wasn't wood floor.

"NGGH.... AAHHHGHHHAHH!"

Izaya dropped to the floor with a scream of pain, his left leg now inpaled with the sharp metal spikes of an old timey beartrap-the kind with two rows of metal teeth that snapped shut when any weight was applied to the centre. Weight not unlike the full force of Izaya's bodyweight when his foot landed in the centre while he was running.

"GNNH.... AAAHHHHHH!"

Trying to rotate his leg in any way only brought attention to the sharp waves of pain in his leg, the feeling of snapped bone and the sides of his skin rubbing on each other making his head swim. He felt the need to throw up. He panted and trembled, tears leaking from his eyes and blurring his vision, teeth hurting with how tightly he was clenching them, nails burning as he tried to drag himself along the ground.

The slow, steady sound of high heeled shoes against the floor came towards him and Izaya turned his head back with another sharp cry, the beartrap jostling. His bleary eyes made it hard to see the figure clearly in the dull light, but they were standing over him wearing white. Izaya grunted and panted, trying to claw towards the open door when a high heeled foot lifted up and smashed down onto the beartrap, closing the spikes further.

"PKGHAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

The raven felt another scream tear from his throat when a sound that he'd never heard before-almost like a wad of papers being torn all at once-echoed through the room. He could feel it, he could feel how the beartrap had closed completely around his leg, thick holes in his left leg. The pain was excruciating, utterly unbearable. Izaya dropped his top half to the ground, breath shuddering with dry sobs of pain, his vision blurring in and out before going completely black.

 

"IZAYA!"


	18. Chapter 18: Nip The Flower With The Least Thorns

Chapter 18: Nip The Flower With The Least Thorns

 

It wasn't as if she had planned to do this today. It was just, seeing Izaya standing across from Tokyo Hands looking so anxious was weird for her. Stopping a few metres away from him, Varona took shelter under a store cover. Tom stopped with her, asking what was wrong. She turned to him with a faint smile, telling him she would meet with him later and kissing his cheek.

Tom had blushed ever so faintly and nodded, smiling and waving as he continued walking, touching his cheek. Varona's face went blank again after that, watching Izaya lean back against the building, a figure coming out from the shadows and tapping his shoulder. Varona frowned, eyes narrowing, prepared for really anything, eyes darting around the area for any potential people she may need for assistance, spotting the last person she expected to see out. Reaching out, Varona grabbed the woman that was walking with a stuffed bear for her Valentine's Day sweetheart, covering her mouth and pointing at Izaya, who was now in the arms of several men with face masks on, being dragged into the abandoned building.

Namie Yagiri's eyes widened when she saw what Varona was gesturing to, dropping her bear and crying out Izaya's name against Varona's hand. The blond sighed faintly and removed her hand. "I care not for his life, but I know Shizuo-Senpai does and you do also, so I will lend you this." She held out her handgun and Namie took it without hesitation. She checked the amount of bullets it in and gritted her teeth, nodding at Varona. They were both proud women, and as such, they would never reveal when they were grateful. Namie weaved through the crowd, hiding the gun under her labcoat best she could, Varona staying back and calling Shizuo, addressing him of the situation, her eyes lowered and voice calm.

Namie managed to get into the building surprisingly easily, wary about how simple everything had went, gun up as she patrolled the hallway she was in, the whole building quiet before--

"NGGH.... AAHHHGHHHAHH!"

Namie jerked to attention at the sound, the voice she recognized easily as Izaya's. She swallowed back any hesitation and began running through the maze of hallways, calling out Izaya's name, looking around.

"GNNH.... AAAHHHHHH!"

"Izaya!"

The voice was louder now, down a few halls at least. She gritted her teeth a little tighter and darted around the corner, having the jump back a few steps at what she saw. Izaya was lying on the ground, a pool of blood surrounding his lower half, left leg utterly crushed between the spikes of a beartrap, a woman dressed in all white over him, pushing her heel onto the beartrap, the spikes closing completely with a sickening noise.

"PKGHAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Izaya's whole body tensed with a scream of pure agony that made Namie wince and shake, her eyes wide, Izaya's body dropping limply. "IZAYA!" Namie cried out the informant's name and sprinted towards him, raising her gun at the woman in white, pulling the trigger. The woman reeled back with a cry as the bullet connected with her shoulder, Namie cocking it again with a growl, this time shooting her stomach. Her hands shook as she aimed for the now keeled over woman's head, tears blurring her face. About to pull the trigger to end the woman's final breaths, a soft hand pushed down on Namie's shoulder, startling her. Varona stood behind her, a dead look on her face and pointing her gun at the woman in white. "Murder does not look good on you" she said simply, pulling her trigger, the woman in white slumping in a pool of blood, no longer moving.

"You... Why would you bother giving me a gun when you were going to come in yourself?!" Namie snapped, dropping her gun and shaking. "The police and ambulance will be here soon, I suggest you leave, lest you be found." Namie trembled, looking between her and Izaya slumped on the ground. "But Izaya--"

"Izaya!" Varona didn't even bat an eyelash when Shizuo sprinted over to Izaya's side, his whole body quaking.

"Who the fuck did this?!" he roared, eyes pinpricks as he looked around, spotting the body of the white woman on the ground, breath shaking with rage, stumbling over to her body and picking her up by her hair. "She's dead."Namie said bitterly but the words fell of deaf ears, Shizuo swinging the woman's body into the wall, the sounds of bones snapping following, the blond stalking over to her again.

"She's already dead monster! Its over!" Namie yelled, her body shaking, grabbing Shizuo’s arm, growling. "You were too fucking late! You want to be useful?! Get Izaya into the fucking ambulance!"

Shizuo looked over at her, eyes burning with animalistic rage, shrugging her off him and bending, tearing the steal beartrap open as if it were nothing but tin, picking up Izaya bridal style, jogging out of the building to the ambulance. Namie inhaled shakily, Varona watching on quietly.   
"You should leave." Varona blinked at the words.   
"Me? Why is that?"

"Because someone has to take the fall for killing that girl and its going to be me." Namie turned around to face her with resolve in her eyes, snatching the gun off the blond.

Varona stared at her blankly. "You'd go this far for someone you do not even like?"   
Namie gave an almost wry smile.   
"In a world like this, friends for me is a novelty." She inhaled and steeled herself. "I'd happily put myself on the line for the man that protected me from the world that hates him."

Varona's eyes softened slightly, inhaling and holding out her gloved hand. "You have my respect, Namie Yagiri, I will be sure to repay you this favour."

Namie just sighed and nodded sharply, watching the wooden walls light up with the blues and whites of a police car outside, Varona turning and running out. Namie smiled faintly, dropping her gun and facing the wall near her, hands up flat on the wall as the police stormed in, demanding that she stay still.

"The favour wasn't for you..." She murmured with a faint smile, looking down with hooded eyes. "Sorry Seiji, I wont be able to give you your Valentine's Day present today..."

 

 

Izaya's leg ached when he began to stir, though the pain was much more manageable, his back against an uncomfortable hospital bed. He grunted, opening tired eyes, the hospital room he was in peppered with people. His eyes only opened a sliver to gauge his surroundings, Shizuo over by the door talking to police, Shinra and Celty sitting by the bed talking quietly, Kadota asleep in another chair, Varona standing by Shizuo and Shiki from Awakusu-Kai standing by the wall. He must have opened his eyes more than he thought, because Shinra's eyes snapped over to him and he stood.

"He's awake!" Shizuo instantly turned around and ran to the bed, leaving Varona with the police, eyes wide.

"Izaya!"

"Izaya are you alright?!"

[How are you feeling?]

Izaya's head buzzed at so many people talking, his brow furrowed. "How... Long have I been out?" He murmured, throat dry and scratchy, Celty handing him a glass of water that he greedily gulped down.

"Just under 72 hours, you had to get surgery on your leg to implant a metal rod in place of the bone and stitch everything up." Shinra reported, sitting back by Celty after helping Izaya sit up.

"That long?" Izaya murmured, frowning faintly, looking over at Shizuo, who hadn't moved from the foot of the bed since he ran over, eyes wide.

"Shizu-Chan..." Shizuo slowly weaved past Shiki and Celty, moving to Izaya's side before dropping on top of him, hugging him tight enough to constrict Izaya's chest slightly, his body shaking.

"Shizu-Chan..." Izaya frowned, rubbing Shizuo's back gently, eyes lowered.

"I thought I was gonna lose you... If Varona hadn't have seen you I..." Shizuo’s voice shook and Izaya could feel his shoulder getting wet with tears.

Izaya looked around the room, Celty gently shaking Kadota awake, everyone leaving the room to give them privacy.

"I'm okay now..." Izaya whispered, stroking Shizuo’s hair. "You saved me, I'm alright..."

"I didn't! I got there too late Izaya!" Shizuo trembled. "If it wasn't for that secretary of yours you'd be dead!"

"Secretary? Namie..?" Izaya's eyes widened. "Where is she now..?"

"She shot that girl that kidnapped you... She got formally arrested two days ago." Izaya's eyes widened and he swallowed.

"Namie..."

"We can get her out... Shiki already said he can help if you pay him back." Izaya nodded slowly.

"I know we can fix this all but... I can't believe she helped me..."

"She's your friend, Izaya" Shizuo sighed, kissing Izaya's cheek. "You'll be in here for a while longer, but I'll help as much a I can to get that secretary out okay?"

Izaya swallowed and nodded, sighing faintly. "I love you, Shizuo..." He whispered.

Shizuo blinked and smiled faintly, stroking Izaya's hair. "I love you more..."


	19. Chapter 19: Diamond Lights Do Not Shine Brightly Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that the chapter is so short, laptop is still broken.

Chapter 19: Diamond Lights Do Not Shine Brightly Alone

 

Shizuo woke with a start and a sharp scream.   
His eyes were wide and he could feel his body shaking from the vividness of that last nightmare. His jaw hung open, breaths coming out strangled and choked, mocha eyes wide as his head whipped around, scanning his room.  
 _No Izaya._  
He took a few calming breaths and fisted the collar of his tshirt, hunching over slightly. Shizuo sighed shakily and ran a hand through his hair, focusing on relaxing his stiff muscles, slowly picking up the remote for the heater, turning it up a bit to hopefully stop the chill running through him. Reaching over, he picked up the phone, typing in the number by his bed, hesitating for a moment before pushing the call button.  
It rung for a while, Shizuo just about to give up for the night when the call connected and he heard a very tired voice. 

  
"Hello..?"  
"Hey... Sorry for waking you, it's me."  
"Shizu-Chan?" Izaya sounded a little more awake now, Shizuo could almost see his sleep-dulled eyes brightening slightly in curious confusion. There was shuffling as Izaya sat up in his hospital bed.  
"Is everything okay? You dont sound so good" the blond could hear the frown in his voice.  
"Yeah I'm okay..." Shizuo sighed, head on his knees before sighing. "Just kidding... I miss you..." 

  
Izaya, from his hospital bed, frowned slightly, holding the phone a little closer, sighing. "Another nightmare?" The raven asked gently, taking Shizuo’s lack of an answer as a yes.  
"I'm perfectly fine now... So don't worry so much okay? You'll be able to see me tomorrow morning anyways, so don't fret." 

  
"I'm sorry..." Izaya almost didn't hear him, but the sudden apology made his brow furrow. "I'm sorry I didn't spend Valentine's Day with you... I completely forgot what day it even was... I'm sorry that I wasn't there when you got taken..." Izaya frowned, hearing Shizuo’s voice choking up. 

  
"Shhh..." He whispered, eyes low. "What matters now is that we're both okay... we'll see each other tomorrow, everything will be okay."  
"The bed's lonely without you..." Izaya smiled faintly, his chest warming at the words.  
"It's lonely here without your protozoan ass too... But there's not much we can do until I can walk properly..."  
"Hurry up and get better..." 

 

Izaya would have teased him, would have mocked him about how it wasn't possible for him to control that; but when he heard how weak Shizuo’s voice was... He couldn't. 

  
"I'll try my best..." He whispered instead, looking down, hunching his shoulders. "So keep my side of the bed warm for when I get back okay..?"

"Yeah..." Shizuo smiled faintly, shuffling ever so slightly to lay on Izaya's side of the large bed. "Course I will." 

Izaya smiled, rubbing his eyes with a sigh. "Try and get some sleep okay? You have work tomorrow right?" He sighed, though he gripped the phone reciever tighter, not wanting to let it go. 

  
"Yeah... Hey Izaya..." Shizuo’s throat closed on his next request, swallowing hard. 

"Stay until I fall asleep..?" 

 

The request was weak, weaker than Shizuo had ever felt in his whole life.

"Of course." Izaya whispered back, lying back down on his side with the phone beside him, listening to Shizuo lying down, hearing his breathing through the reciever. 

"I love you Izaya..." The words clenched Izaya's chest and his heart ached, he could hear the tears behind the words, he could picture the lonely Shizuo in the vastly empty space of Izaya's condo, lying on Izaya's side of the bed in the dark with his phone, face to the pillow as he poured out his feelings. 

 

It pained Izaya's heart achingly. "I love you more, Shizuo..." 

Was all Izaya could say. 

 

The next morning, Shizuo charged up his phone, eyes lowered as he stared at the screen, looking at the call history, showing that the phone call with Izaya had continued up until his phone had lost power, the number blinking that they had been on the phone for just under 7 hours. 

"Thanks Izaya.." He mumbled to himself with a faint smile.

 

Going to work was the last thing he wanted to do, but unfortunately he had to, not wanting to sit and mope until visiting hours started. Sighing, Shizuo reluctantly stood, stretching and walking into the bathroom, running a shower. 

After his shower he padded back in his underwear to the bedroom, getting out his bartender outfit, slowly putting it on piece by piece ending with the bowtie, looking at himself in the floor length mirror in the bedroom. "Time to go..." he mumbled, pulling on his shoes and grabbing his essentials, leaving the condo. 

 

 

"Shizuo... You really don't have to be here yknow..." Tom frowned faintly, walking with Varona on his other side, looking over at the zombie-like Shizuo. 

"Did you even get any sleep last night? You look awful." 

 

"I'm fine, really..." Shizuo murmured, eyes lowered and trained on the ground as he walked, kicking a stone along the asphalt. 

 

"Are you sure? Because the client lives this way" Tom called from where he and Varona had stopped. 

 

Shizuo blinked and looked up, stopping walking and turning to see the pair frowning at him. "You should head home, Shizuo, you're really not yourself today."

 

"I'm paranoid" Shizuo blurted out before realizing it. Tom blinked and frowned.

"About what buddy?" Shizuo met his eyes, opening his mouth only for no noise to come out.

 

He watched Tom's eyes widen comically and Varona's jaw drop. For a moment he had no idea why they were looking at him like that, and then it hit him. His face had fallen to one of desperate agony, tears streaming down his cheeks with no hope of stopping them, the blond wiping them away with the backs of his hands before his voice cracked by a painful sob filled with all the anguish and grief he has been holding in himself the last few days.

Tom and Varona were both rendered speechless by the sight of the Fortissimo of Ikebukuro breaking in front of their very eyes, Tom stepping forward and placing a hand on Shizuo's shoulder.

 

"Shizuo..."

 

"Shizuo-Senpai..."

 

Varona was just as shocked, Shizuo pressing the balls of his hands against his eyes and hunching his shoulders.

"He could have died!" he managed to choke out. "He almost _did_ die! And its all my fault!"

Tom frowned, rubbing Shizuo's back gently, eyes lowered "don't worry anymore, Shizuo, everything's fine now..." Shizuo trembled, sobbing and wiping his eyes, his large frame wracking with shivers and tremors from the crying, Varona frowning faintly, massaging his shoulders.

 

The day itself rather warm, though Shizuo only felt cold, like his whole body had been dunked in icy water and he was left alone to freeze in cold winds. He'd been cold since Izaya was admitted to hospital, no matter how high he put up the heater, he still felt chilled to his very core.

 

 

A solid hour later, Shizuo was back home, having been sent there by Tom about 10 minutes after he stopped crying. He'd been sitting on the bed in Izaya's large bedroom for about 10 minutes now, staring at the floor with a small frown, waiting for the call from Shinra telling him visiting hours had started. He wasn't sure what time it was, only sure that he still felt cold, though he didn't particularly want to pull a blanket over himself. A moment or so later, his phone buzzed with the text saying Izaya was awake and able to have visitors and Shizuo instantly perked up, shooting to his feet and snatching his keys and phone sprinting from the condo towards the hospital.

 

_I'll be there soon, Izaya!_

 

Shizuo all but slammed the door to Izaya's room open, eyes wide and panting, the raven sitting up in bed mid-talk with Shinra, having been startled by the noise.

"Good morning..." Izaya smiled faintly and Shizuo's whole body flooded with an unmistakable warmth, the chill he'd been feeling instantly ebbing away like it had never been there.

"Morning..." Shizuo said breathlessly, Shinra standing with a smile.

"I'd best be getting going, Celty is probably worrying about where I am" he chuckled, barely waiting for a goodbye, walking past Shizuo out of the room, leaving the pair alone.

 

"I missed you..." Shizuo blurted out instantly, going over to the bed, taking Izaya's hands gently. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay" Izaya smiled. "The pain's gotten a lot better, I should only be here for another week or so before I can go."

Shizuo felt both relieved and cold, knowing that he'd have to spend another week alone and cold in the empty condo, but knowing that after that, he'd be back with Izaya in his arms.

 

"I'm glad you're feeling better..." Izaya sighed, gently cupping Shizuo’s face and smiling sadly.

"You need to relax more, Tom called me, I know you havent been feeling great..."

"I'm fine" Shizuo shook his head, taking Izaya's hands, kissing the backs of them. "Don't worry about me, you just focus on getting better."

Izaya sighed and smiled faintly, stroking Shizuo’s fingers with his thumbs, nodding faintly.

"I'll try my best..."

 

 

Shizuo felt warm.


	20. Chapter 20:  The Worth Of An Apple.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this'll prolly be the final chapter, lemme know if you guys want me to do a sequel ^^

Chapter 20: The Worth Of An Apple. 

 

It had been several months.  
Several months of Shizuo tossing and turning in his bed only to wake up alone. He used to be able to comfortably sleep alone, but now it was almost impossible.   
Why?  
It was all Izaya's fault, really.   
Izaya was being discharged from the hospital that day and it was weighing pretty heavily on him. Finally, he'd have Izaya back and everything will be okay again.   
He couldn't wait.   
Everything was slowly falling into place, even though Shizuo had spent the past few days compulsively cleaning the condo over and over again even through there was no mess to speak of. He just needed something to do while he waited for Shinra and Celty to bring the raven back home. He sighed, feeling Rook rubbing against his leg with a faint mewl. He sighed, picking the small cat up and patting her lightly, frowning. "He'll be home soon..." he murmured, more to relax himself than to relax the fuzzball in his hands. The cat just blinked at him and meowed again, louder this time. "Oh shit, you need to eat dont you?" he murmured, putting the cat down and going to the kitchen, hunting through the cupboards to try and find where he put the cat food. The blond furrowed his brow, visibly frazzled as he sorted through the cupboards for the 9th time. "I swear to god I put it here..." he murmured, trying once more to hunt for the cat food. Soon enough, after looking through the same cupboard for the 4th time, he spotted the bright purple of the cat food bag. He grinned, reaching in and grabbing the corner of it, jerking his arm back to pull it free from the cupboard.  
Only for it to split with his strength, sending small x shaped pieces of cat food everywhere.   
Shizuo's face displayed nothing, the calm before the storm easily. A moment after that he straightened himself up, still carrying the cat food back that had a massive rip in in, swinging his arm with an annoyed yell, sending the bag flying through the air and smashing into the wall, leaving a pile of cat food in its wake.   
Shizuo calmed down instantly after that.  
He sighed, looking down at where Rook was eating from the pile by his feet, sighing and shaking his head, rubbing his face. "God I'm hopeless..." he murmured.   
"I'll say! What the hell even was that, monster boy? Are you training for the hammer throw?"   
 _That voice, that fucking wonderful, sarcastic, full of himself voice..._  
Shizuo's head jerked around, eyes wide and facing the door, where sure enough, Izaya was leaning against the doorframe, smirking his signature smirk at him.  
"'Zaya..." He murmured, jumping over the kitten.   
"You'd better clean this up monster boy, or we'll get---"  
Izaya was cut off when it felt like a brick wall slammed into his chest, leaving him breathless. He blinked wide eyes, looking at where Shizuo had sprinted over to him, slamming into him and gripping the back of the raven's shirt tightly.   
"Welcome back..." The blind whispered, nuzzling into Izaya's collar.   
The raven blinked and smiled warmly, playing with the blond' hair, pulling up small bits so they looked like dog ears. "I'm home..." he murmured, smiling and cooing.   
  


For the next few hours, Shizuo absolutely doted on Izaya, getting him anything he wanted so the raven didn't so much as have to raise his head, cooking ramen for him, slicing thin bits of pork and organizing them more delicately than anything Izaya could have imagined.   
"Shizu-Chan" Izaya's voice had a touch of amusement in it, watching Shizuo buzz around the room cleaning up the spilled cat food.   
"Yeah?" the blond called, dumping the remains for the cat food in a different container, shoving it back in the cupboard, looking over to where Izaya was smiling at him, bundled in a blanket looking the most domestically comfortable that Shizuo had ever seen him look. Izaya smiled, eyes lowered, raising his arms in the universal gesture for a hug. Shizuo felt his face heat up at how fast he obeyed the silent request, slowly coming over and sitting by Izaya, wrapping an arm tightly around the boy's shoulders, pulling him closer and tossing the blanket over himself as well.   
"Does it still hurt..?" He mumbled quietly, Izaya nuzzling into Shizuo's shoulder.   
"Mmm?"  
Shizuo swallowed the lump in his throat, fingers gently brushing the leg that still had scarred divots in it. "Does it still hurt..?"  
Izaya blinked at the question, eyebrows turning up and a faint smile on his lips, knowing Shizuo couldn't see the pain in his face, thinking back to how excited he was waiting for Shizuo outside Tokyo Hand, how disappointed he was to see Tsukumoya, how his mind screamed for Shizuo to come help him.   
He thought about Namie, how the woman had risked herself to save him, how she'd taken the blame for a murder she didn't commit, how she saved his life...

"Yeah..." He whispered, his voice barely audible to the blond gently running his hands through ink black hair. "Still hurts..."

 

 

Izays stood outside, on the balcony, at 5am.   
He let the cool air run through his hair, his wine eyes lowered as he watched his surroundings, taking note of how there was barely anyone outside at this time of night, not even any of the gangs were really doing much. Without the occasional flash of a bright yellow scarf, or the lights from the odd passing car, the night was silent. He sighed faintly, his breath visible in a small cloud around cold lips. He didnt hear the door behind him open, but then again, he didnt jump either when a warm haori-sized blanket was draped over his shoulders, simply grabbing the hem and pulling it a bit tighter around himself.   
"What are you thinking about?" Shizuo murmured, rubbing between the raven's shoulder blades.   
"Everything..." Izaya whispered, eyes lowered.   
"Everything?" Shizuo prompted, eyes lowered.   
"Everything.."  
Shizuo didnt try and push it, seeing how Izaya's shoulders had raised ever so slightly, his head sinking slightly.   
"I dont know much..." Shizuo began, clearing his throat, like he was trying to find the right words. "But I can tell when someone is upset... It doesnt matter what country you're from yknow..." he mumbled, eyes lowered. "Whether you're from Japan like us, Russia like Simon and Varona, or Ireland like Celty... Everyone cries when they're sad..."   
Izaya blinked, turning his head to look up at him, wiping away the tears that he knew were budding in his eyes, wondering how Shizuo had known.   
Shizuo didn't look at him, smilng faintly in amusement to himself.   
"Yknow I always used to think that you couldn't cry... Like when you felt sad, your tears would turn to ice just like your heart." He laughed a dead laugh, sighing and frowning. "Guess I was wrong, huh... You really are just like the rest of us... You can cry and scream in frustration, you can get hurt and bleed like any normal person..."  
He slowly turned to face Izaya, smiling faintly. "You can take me at my worst, and I think that's prolly what I like about you... I dont have to hold back on you, in sex, in arguments... In anything really."  
"... Ya lyublyu tebya..." Izaya whispered, his eyes on Shizuo's now confused expression. "Ya obozhayu tebya..." Izaya dropped his head, hunching his shoulders, leaning his forehead on Shizuo's chest, weakly hitting the blond's chest.   
Shizuo blinked, still utterly confused, holding Izaya's shaking shoulders and chuckling faintly, looking out to the horizon, staring at the sun rising.   
Shizuo felt warm... Warmer than he'd felt in months. 

 

 

"Hey Varona... i gotta ask you something" Shizuo brought up while he, Tom and the Russian woman were on their rounds, walking between jobs.   
"What is it, Shizuo-Senpai?" She hummed, looking over at her companion, blinking in curiosity.   
"Do you still hate me..?" He frowned, eyes lowered, stopping walking, Varona stopping with a look of surprise on her face.   
"Excuse me?"  
"Do you still want to kill me?" Shizuo asked in a clearer fashion. Varona still seemed stumped, frowning faintly to herself.   
"I dont think I do..."  
"Do you hate Izaya?"  
Varona's eyes hardened slightly, narrowing a touch.   
"I do."  
"I wont let you touch him." Shizuo's voice held more resolve than it ever had, eyes lowered. Varona said nothing and Shizuo sighed, looking down and clenching his fists. "Being with someone that makes me feel like being me isn't bad... I've grown to love that feeling..." He sighed and looked at her again. "You're my friend and kouhai, but if you lay so much as a finger on him... I wont hesitate to kill you."  
It pained him to say, especially when Varona flinched back slightly with wide eyes, watching him for any trace of lie.  
But there was none.   
"I... Understand..." Varona mumbled, sighing faintly, looking at Shizuo with resolve, a hand to her chest. "I swear on my name I shall never hurt Heiwajima Shizuo or his partner, Orihara Izaya."  
"Thanks.." Shizuo smiled faintly, ruffling her hair. "The only other favour I have to ask is, can you get that Yagiri girl out of prison for me? If anyone can do it, you can" he hummed.   
"Consider it done" She smiled, eyes slightly brighter than before, looking up at Shizuo with all the respect in the world. "Shizuo-Senpai."  
Shizuo smiled and dropped his hand, looking over at Tom waiting for them with a faint smile on his lips.   
Ikebukuro was steadily getting warmer.   
  


 

"Simon, I gotta level with you..." Shizuo hummed when the trio had taken their seats for lunch at Russia Sushi. Simon blinked and looked over at Shizuo with a wide smile.   
"Oh Shizuo? Pressing business? Dont let business cloud the mind" he hummed, putting their orders on the table in front of them. Shizuo snickered, shaking his head.   
"Not business, just some Russian that I heard that I need translating."  
"Ooooh? Russian is no good, Japan is much nicer, clean air and no fighting~" The burly Russian continued his wistful phrases as he walked around the shop, Varona looking over at him with a blank look.   
"Do you want me to help you translate it?" She blinked, tilting her head.   
Somehow, Varona seemed much more... Relaxed than usual.   
Shizuo blinked. "Sure... It was something like... Ya Loobloo tebuya or something?"  
"Ya lyublyu tebya?" Varona repeated, sounding much closer to whatever the hell Shizuo had said.   
  
Varona gave an amused smile, looking around the shop before reaching over and getting a napkin, scribbling on it for a moment before folding it an putting it in the breast pocket of Shizuo's vest.   
Shizuo reached for it with a blink, only to be stopped by Varona's cold hand. "Wait until you are outside." She smiled.

 

Once he got outside, Shizuo was anxious about what he'd see. What had Izaya said to him? He steadied himself and sighed, unfolding the napkin.

 

**̶о̶т̶п̶р̶а̶в̶и̶т̶ь̶ ̶н̶ю̶ ̶"̶S̶e̶n̶d̶ ̶N̶u̶d̶e̶s̶"̶   ̶ ̶(̶I̶m̶ ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y̶,̶ ̶I̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶X̶D̶)̶**

 

**Я люблю тебя**

**"I love you."**

 

At least Shizuo had figured it out, it was Izaya making him feel so comfortably warm.   
  


 

Getting home, Shizuo carried a small bag of apples to the kitchen, Izaya bouncing over with a curious hum. "What'd you buy?"  
"Nothing special" He shrugged, getting out a small knife and cutting into the fruit before handing it to the raven. Izaya chuckled, finger running over the small heart Shizuo had carved into the apple.   
Izaya hummed, taking a bite with a coo, smiling faintly and leaning on the counter.   
His arm brushed the receipt and he hummed, picking it up with a yawn, looking over it. 

 

'Mimiso Convenience Store apples 100円.'

 

"Are you fucking kidding me---"

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully I remember to actually update this, I hope so, Im very lazy with that so my apologies.
> 
> If I dont update for a while, just leave a comment to remind me.


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